Kelli. in real life

Feel The Prayer Wheel Turnin'

My grandmother and grandfather used to get up early in the morning and pray.
Sometimes they would kneel beside their bed and pray, but other times they would go to the church and pray.
Sometimes my parents would go, but if they had to be at work occasionally, I went with my grandparents.
There would usually be about 6-10 people that would show up for early morning prayer. But even as a child, I was fascinated by what went on in those prayer meetings.
Sometimes there was weeping.
Sometimes there was rejoicing.
Sometimes there was silence.
Sometimes they sang songs.
But all the time....it was powerful.

I used to hear seasoned women in the church say, "I feel the prayer wheel turnin".

It meant that they felt the Spirit of the Lord stirring within them, calling them to prayer and intimacy with him.

As a child, and even now this is what I see when I think of a "prayer wheel turnin'".

Its a water wheel.
A device created long ago using flowing water to create POWER.

Even as I write that I feel a rush of excitement.

When God calls us into a time of prayer; true prayer that includes intercession ( standing in the gap fervently for someone else), warfare (praying against spiritual wickedness and things that are not of God) , and supplication (asking and requesting God for specific things)...its like a well of water inside of us is being turned through a wheel (prayer) to create POWER.

The bible speaks of this in different ways.....

"But you shall receive power after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you" Acts 1:8a

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, let your requests be made known unto God. " Phillipians 4:6

"Like wise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings to deep for words. " Romans 8:26

Sounds like a prayer wheel to me.

Today, open your heart to the Holy Spirit. Allow that well of living water living inside you to flow freely. Open your mouth in faith and allow God to fill it with words of prayer, intercession, and supplication with thanksgiving.

Today I prayed for you. My heart was overwhelmed with love for you...anyone and everyone who reads this today.

I pray that you will be called into the love of Christ today and experience what He has for you.

I feel the prayer wheel turnin'

I Wish I could Be There......

This is my L.A. sister.
Today marks a culmination of lessons learned, trials overcome, and a birthing of a "new thing" in Christ for her.
Today is her ministerial ordination.

I wish desperately to be there to celebrate this achievement with her today; but finances and other commitments wouldn't allow me.

But I am SO proud.

I type this with tears streaming down my face as I thank God for bringing my sister into my life. People are often amazed when they find out we've only been close friends for a year or so. The sovereignty of God literally brought us together as friends, intercessors, and carriers of the gospel.

My sister was the only person, (outside of my husband) who I could bring myself to talk to the day I lost my baby. After miscarrying here at home I felt unstable and delirious. I needed something I could lean on, something solid, and she was there.

I cried uncontrollably that day. And she listened.
My speech was fragmented. And she listened.
My mind was scattered. And she listened.
She was just what I needed.
When she finally did speak I felt the love of God penetrate my heart, and I knew He hadn't left me.

Today, I wish I could be there just to listen.
Listen to the charge and challenge she is given; to preach the gospel in and out of season, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, to live a sober life, to teach the younger women, to uphold the standard of holy living presented to us by the scriptures.
And when I finally would speak, I'd say this......

Although you are a gift to me; it is now time for the world to experience that gift. Before you were even born, Christ predestined you; to carry the gospel to the nations; to carry the song of the Lord,; to lay hands on the sick and watch them recover; and to prepare the way of the Lord. Your perseverance, and commitment to ministry has challenged me to be a better Christian. I pray that today you feel the overwhelming embrace of God's love as you are elevated to another level in ministry. You'll never know how much I appreciate you.

From the Heart,

Kel

This is me in real life, Kelli.

Why, Kelli; in real life?

As far as I can tell, there are only a few people that stop through this blog on a regular basis.
By a few , I mean a handful.

That's really ok with me.

I write because it gives me clarity, and if it touches someone else in the process, then wonderful!

For those of you who don't know me personally, my name is Kelli.
I live in Michigan with my husband and toddler son.
I work part time as a child center supervisor.
But my heart's desire is to live a life of ministry driven work and purpose.

I grew up in "church"; gave my life to Christ at the age of 10. But I didn't really come to know him until I went to college, and even more so in the last 5-7 years.

I am a worship leader.
(Just writing that makes me cringe...more on that later)

I am a psalmist.

I am a teacher.

I am a mentor.

I am a songwriter.

I am a worshiper.

I am an intercessor.

I am a lionness; a warrior in battle.

Many people know me as background vocalist singing for the likes of these people....

I absolutely LOVE singing background.
But since having my son in 2006, my travels have slowed down a bit, and I travel much less than I used to.

Last December, I turned 30.
In the days and months leading up to my birthday I felt a huge sense of anticipation. I felt like my turning 30 represented a new walk with Christ, another lever of faith and maturity, and an understanding of my purpose in life.

I had no idea that what was lying ahead of me were the most difficult times and trials I have ever experienced.

One of them being the loss of my 2nd son at 12 weeks gestation, in early March.
I miscarried and delivered here at home.

Amongst other trials, these last 6 months have been extremely stressful and trying for me and my family.

our faith has been tested in ways it has never been before.

After the miscarriage, I took down my myspace page. It was filled with pictures, music, and blogs from my travels and experiences as a background vocalist. I felt that for too long I had hidden behind an "image" that people had of me, and I wanted to be transparent.

God has blessed me with numerous gifts.
But I am not those gifts.
I am a human. A woman.
I struggle daily with doubt, condemnation, trust, and resentment.
I too often hurt those I love the most.
I know the bible well, but I have a hard time applying it to my own life.
I have a hard time believing that God can and does love me amidst my flaws and faults.

This is the real me.

I took this picture about a week after my miscarriage. I had gone to see a movie alone, and afterwards I sat in my car and cried like a baby. I had never been so confused, so hurt, so lost in my life. I felt like the world was caving in on me.
I couldn't talk to my husband about it. I couldnt talk to my parents. My sister was busy and couldn't talk. My friends were all busy with their families and activities.

It was me and God. In my car. In the rain.

And I wept.

Often times, we look through peoples pictures, at their blogs, family videos, or we see them on a stage...and we forget that they are REAL.

My life is real.

The pain I have felt, and am feeling is real.

But you know why I'm still living?

Because so is God.

God is real.

His love is real.

His forgiveness is real.

His peace is real.

His power is real.

God is real.

And one day....one day soon; I'll be able to tell the story of how I got over myself, and believed God.

I'll be able to tell the story of how I went from the battle to victory.

I'll tell you the story of how I went from singing out of desperation to singing out of triumph and release.

This is me.

This is Kelli.....in real life.