I am so happy about having a big , round belly; being nauseated by the strangest things, taking naps almost EVERY day, and I'm absolutely thrilled to be having a girl.
When I was little my mother dressed me in frilly dresses and perfectly matching shoes and bows. My hair was neatly combed and put in place. I even remember having lots of little purses. But, as fate would have it, I was pretty much a tomgirl. My favorite cousins were boys who taught me how to play tag football, catch worms and fireflies, and play w/ G.I. Joes. By the time I reached middle school I had scars on my knees from rolling in dirt or falling during a neighborhood kickball game or bike race.
Although there was a reason I sometimes hid under baggy clothes that didnt enhance my figure, this post isn't about what I've been through, but rather what I've become and am becoming.
I've always loved that my husband thinkgs Im just as hot in cropped sweat pants and a tank top, as I am wearing a Sunday suit with my face and hair all done up. He makes me feel very comforable about my natural beauty.
But no experience, no eyeliner, no massage, no hand bag (well...I dunno I love handbags), no Jones New York or Kasper suit (um........I love suits), no total makeover, has ever made me feel more like a woman than pregnancy has; especially this one. With my first pregnancy I had only been married 3 months before getting pregnant and I was so clueless as to many of the changes that were happening in my life, let alone my body. But now, after 4.5 years of marriage and having a 3 year old son, and having experienced a miscarriage; this pregnancy is like a ray of sunshine. When I put my clothes on; whether they be sweats or skirts, and I see that round bump that has overtaken my normal sized belly (well sort of normal ..lol) I cant help but smile.
Every day I feel this little girl kicking and moving, and I talk to her and tell her how happy I am to be her mommy. I tell her that I havent always been the "Kelli" I am now, but I pray my mistakes and fears are things I can one day tell her about. I tell her I'm so thankful to God for giving me a chance to have a little girl of my own, to watch grow into a little lady; whether its when she's 5 , 15, or 25. I tell her that she's beautiful, and being her mommy makes me feel beautiful.
By the end of this summer, I'll be holding this healthy, beautiful ,(big) girl in my arms, and she'll no longer just be a face I dream about. I'll be able to brush my finger across her cheek every day and feel beautiful just because she's mine.
Carys.....being your mommy makes me feel like a natural woman......