Kelli. in real life

Casting Call

I've got some good friends.

No.

Scratch that. 

I've got some fantastic sisters that God has blessed me with. 

Although by husband is my best friend there are times when I need "girl talk" from someone who is moody, silly, determined, and loves God just like me. 

Thats where my sisters come in. 

At any given time I can call any one of them and vent, ask for advice, or just chit chat. (im a conversationalist so I enjoy ...well, conversation)

But sometimes I am so overwhelmed with emotions and questions that the only one I can call on is GOD. 

Pregnancy hormones. 

Decisions. 

Finances.

the weighty call of God on my life. 

did I mention decisions?

a husband to support and care for. 

children to support and care for. 

did I mention finances?

young ladies to mentor and be an example for. 

family and friends.

It can get a little heavy for a pregnant wife, mommy, intercessor, psalmist, mentor, and friend at times. 

this morning I was awakened around 545 ( as I usually am...for a potty break of course). I couldnt go back to sleep so I got out of the bed and began to pray. The weight of all the things on my mind brought tears to my eyes, and what began in thanksgiving quickly became a plea for Gods intervention. It was then that a familiar scripture came to my mind. 

"CASTING ALL YOUR CARE UPON FOR HIM; FOR HE CARETH FOR YOU " 1 Peter 5:7

Although I know the scripture well I looked up other versions of this verse to really grasp what God was saying to me.  "THROW all your worry on Him (International Standard version) " was the version that really grabbed my attention. Too often I may refrain from praying about my situations repeatedly because I dont want to put "too much" on God. But here He was reminding me that He wants me to come to him with my worries, fear, and anxiety and literally THROW them on Him...knowing that HE CARES FOR ME.

Maybe you're like me. Maybe at times you've got so much on your plate or on your mind that you sometimes feel overwhelmed. 

My friend, this is a CASTING CALL. Calling all those who are heavy laden. Cast, THROW all your cares on HIM. 

At the end of the day the pressure may still be there, your to do list may not be completed, but I guarantee you'll feel a release knowing that there is a God who is more than capable of handling your problems. Why? Simply because HE CARES. 

Are You a Praying Woman?

In January of this year many people celebrated the start a new season.

My husband and I were very excited, but exhausted as well. We had only known I was pregnant for about 3 weeks but were already feeling the effects of my being tired and emotionally on edge, he and some friends had moved 80% of our belongings from one place to another on Christmas Eve, and we had just returned from a youth convention in Ohio, followed by an out of town engagement on New Years Eve. 

We were drained; mentally, physically, and spiritually.

One day during prayer I was overcome with emotions. I was crying out to the Lord about how I felt like my husband was so consumed with responsibility that he had forgotten about the importance of our relationship. I told the Lord I was hurt and feeling "uncovered" and "Unprotected" as a wife. I knew the Lord would understand and send his gentle but firm correction down on my husband. :)

As I finished and wiped my tears, waiting for the Lord to respond , He spoke this to my spirit. 

"What have you done for him?"

The Lord began to show me how he had created me as a woman to nurture, encourage, romance, and express love and compassion. He showed me the areas in which I was lacking. He didnt blame me, He didnt point the finger at me. But he reminded me that I had lost the love and devotion to a simple principle. 

PRAYER. 

Sure I prayed. In fact, if a person called me with a request I would (and still do ) snot and cry and call  upon the name of the Lord until I felt a release in my spirit that I had touched the heart of God. But on my husband's behalf I was too caught up in the things I felt he "owed" me to realize that the answer was simple. PRAY. COVER. SPEAK. BELIEVE.

In the beginning of our marriage I used to lay hands on my husband and speak into him. I used to cover him with the word of God on a daily basis. I realized I had lost that initiative.

Since that day in January, I've been taking time out of almost every day to COVER my husband in scripture and prayer. Some days are more difficult than others : ) and some days I just plain dont feel like it. But God, because he is faithful has manifested the benefits of prayer in my marriage in just a short time since that day in January. 

There are many seasons to a marriage, and at times we get so caught up in what God is using us to do, or calling us to do that we forget our first ministry is at home. Although our children are a beautiful blessing , our spouses are our fist priority. They are the one whom we have joined in covenant. 

Just a simple reminder to pray for your spouse. Just think, if you're not praying for them, there's no guarantee that anyone is. 

Time Out

Today I'm taking a "time out" from the every day ups and downs and ins and outs. For the next hour I've decided my greatest struggle doesn't exist. I'm not anxious, worrying, doubtful, fearful, or beating myself up. For the next hour I am FREE!!!!!

 This all started this morning when I woke up and was greeted by my issues and worries, shortcomings and bills, strengths and weaknesses, all at once. Just as I began to cry the Holy Spirit nudged me and I felt him whisper this to me. "Just try me...........take a break from trying to fix everything.....just try me. "  Capitol idea, I thought. But seeing that worry and anxiety have become a part of my actual being over the last few years, I knew it would be kind of hard to just "snap out of it." So I set a reasonable goal. For the next hour....I AM FREE. 

To some this may be silly. Worry and anxiety may not be your worst enemies. Maybe it's easy for you to accept God grace and mercy daily. But condemnation is a constant foe of mine. When I feel I've let God down, or even if bills overwhelm me, or things don't work out like I expected, it effects every part of my life. I lose inspiration. I become afraid and defensive. I stop praying. I began to feel helpless. 

But I love how God's word is alive and can speak loudly to our situations. 

"He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;" Psalm 103 :10-11

I once heard someone say faith is like a muscle...its got to be exercised. Life has thrown a many curve balls my direction the last 2 years and my faith has taken a beating. But today I'm putting on my workout clothes and Im exercising my faith. Who knows this hour of relief may lead to a new way of life....TRUE FREEDOM!!!!

 

CHURCH!!!!!RISE UP!!!!!

Yesterday was a very historical day. Barack Obama; a man of African descent, was elected president of these United States. 

I thought of all my ancestors; black and white, who fought against this day and for it. I thought of all the senseless beatings and murders that took place based on the color of a persons skin. I thought of all the long, sweltering days that slaves spent working for a "massa', trusting in a God they'd never seen to bring them deliverance and freedom. 

I did not vote for Barack Obama. 

As a woman who has had a miscarriage and seen the tiny, bloody form of a fetus and held it in her hands, I will never believe that it is right to murder a child no matter how small. I could not vote for a man who would allow women to use abortions as a form of birth control. 

I did not vote for John McCain.

Although his views were much more like the beliefs i have as a Christian; when in prayer I could not find the peace I asked for in order to vote for him. 

So I exercised my right to write in a candidate. 

However, as an African American woman, I cried tears of joy last night. I cannot imagine the dreams that were fulfilled last night. Innocent blood that cried out from the ground because in a sense, freedom was attained. A black man was now recognized for his character, wisdom, and hopefulness rather than the color of his skin. 

Yet as a Christian I felt the joy in knowing that my Jesus is soon to return for His church. 

The bible speaks of times like this. "The last days"...when people would be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. ( 2 Timothy 2-7a)

"Now concerning the times and seasons, brothers, you have no need to have anything written to you. For you  yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "There is peace and security," then sudden destruction will come upon them as a pregnant woman and they will not escape." 1 (Thessalonians 5:1-3)

Somewhere inside us a FIRE should be burning brighter and hotter than ever. THESE ARE THE LAST DAYS. We must work while its day for night is coming! Whatever God has put on our hearts to do, NOW IS THE TIME TO DO IT!!!! I am APPALLED at this defeated attitude I'm seeing and hearing from Christians who are obviously not happy with last nights results. Our trust is never in a political candidate, but in our GOD who is all powerful and all knowing. Why are people acting so surprised by these turn of events? And if NOTHING else, why can't we celebrate the monumental occasion of a minority being voted in a presidential office? Is there still an underlying river of hypocrisy called RACISM that we cannot put our differences aside and respect the victory of a people?

And as African Americans (who are Christians), are we so caught up in the "victory" that we forget our first responsibility is to our Savior? That while this is a joyous occasion for the overcoming of a people, there is now a president going into office that will be targeted on a daily basis? Are we naive to the fact that these attacks may fall down on us as well? 

Why are we so caught off guard? Have we not discerned the day in which we live?

"But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief." I Thess 5:4

"So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober."

Church!!! Stop pouting, complaining, and murmuring. Stand up and take your rightful place. 

RISE UP!!!!!!!!!

Good Man, Great God (Part 2)

I've often shared with those close to me that sometimes being talented or gifted seems more of a burden than a blessing. 

I'm sure my husband would say I sometimes make him feel that way. 

Because he's so talented in so many different areas, I have a hard time accepting that right now there are no opportunities for him to use them all and be compensated for them. He works for a retail computer store and LOVES his job. But it often leaves us financially short, scrounging for personal time, and missing out on church events. As a wife who knows his longing desire to be active in ministry but also able to use all his talents and provide for his family, I'm often frustrated at our present circumstances. If this was all there could be that would be one thing. But inside I know God has so much more for us. 

I often feel like his customers get the most personalized attention from him. They get to enjoy his beautiful smile. His pleasant tone of voice. His endearing personality that makes others feel important. 

His co workers get to spend the day with him; listening to his silly jokes, drawing from his wisdom and knowledge, and occasionally eating lunch with him. 

By the time he gets home to us, he lavishes on our little boy; reading him stories, wrestling with him, and teaching him scriptures. After that, he pretty much wants to veg out and get ready for the next day, and if Im lucky I get a half hour or so of quality time. 

These last 2 weeks my husband was working on a music project. My heart was overjoyed knowing he was actively using another one of his gifts and enjoying it all the while. But I longed to have time with him. It became just another reason for him to be busy; helping someone else and leaving the left overs for me. 

I complained in my journal. ALOT. 

Then the Holy Spirit sort of tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Pray for him".

I won't lie. I'd been so consumed by the circumstances that my prayers had been filled with asking for provision, direction, and favor, but not once had I specifically prayed for my husband; his feelings, his destiny, his relationship with God. 

I've been reminded that my prayers for him cannot be contingent on whether or not I feel appreciated, covered, or even loved. My prayers for him must be contingent on the fact that God's word promises that if I ask in faith believing, in HIS name, it shall be given unto me. How silly to have a promise for an answer, but never take the time to ask. 

So today I started all over again. Praying for my husband. 

If I don't, who will?

 

Draw Me Lord & I'll Come Running After You

My evening has taken an unexpected turn.
After being on a holiday with my sister for a week and returning just yesterday, I spent most of the day (after church) lounging around the house with my husband and my toddler son. Tonight I intended on catching up on some reading, taking a hot bath, and watching a movie with my husband.
My plans were interrupted about an hour by a call from a friend.
A close and dear friend.
A friend that has never turned His back on me even when I haven't been true to our relationship.
Never lied to me.
Never failed.
Consistent.
All knowing.
Forgiving.
and extremely loving.

My Savior.
My Father.
My Lover.
My Friend.
My Jesus.
My GOD.

While on vacation my sister and I listened to a variety of music. We're both singers, songwriters, and worshippers; so music is a common thread between us. I'd heard her sing a beautiful song once before, but had never inquired about the artist who sang it. While driving one day she played the song. We listened. We listened again. We felt the presence of God, and listened again.
Tonight I intended on downloading/purchasing the song to gift to 2 of my dear friends for their personal prayer time. But as I listened, I felt the Lord calling me into His presence.

For over an hour now I have been trying to take these songs off of repeat, but my spirit is full as I meditate on the character and essence of who God is.

Who am I that He would desire to have fellowship, conversation, and intimacy with me?

I love my husband deeply. I love him for the man he is and is becoming. I love his gifts and talents. I love his handsome face, soft kisses and gentle touch. I love his smile. I love the way he loves our son. I love him as my friend and my love. While away from him I missed him so much I could almost smell his cologne at night when I laid my head down to sleep and I longed to be in his arms.

But friend, as precious as the bond I share with my husband, there is no comparison to the bond and covenant shared with my Savior. To begin to describe it is almost foolish, for as a worshipper I could never run out of words to describe who God is to me.

I think David summed it up best when he said, "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is the fulness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

I had questions tonight; questions about my future, my purpose, my abilities, and even my standing with God. For an hour I have sat right here at this computer, worshipping in silence, tears streaming down my face, while God has LITERALLY deposited direction, joy, peace, and sweet peace into my spirit".

And although I was sitting right here in my living room while my husband watched football, I felt as if I were sitting by a private lake, rocking in a chair, candles all around, while my Savior; my Jesus gave me roses, reminded me of his promises, forgave me of my wrong, gave me instruction, and just sat with me as if there were no place He would rather be.

My cup is full and overflowing.

Dear friends;
I encourage you; if you're dry and thirsty
if you're lost and wandering,
or if you're a believer simply looking for more of God....

He promised "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you" (James 5:8a)

I imagine I'll sleep sweetly tonight...
hearing this psalm of worship sung by Myron Williams

"Draw me.....Draw me Lord....and I'll come running after you
Draw me....Draw me Lord...and I'll come running after you

.................

I don't mind waiting....I don't mind waiting.....I don't mind waiting on you Lord
I don't mind waiting.....I don't mind waiting.......I don't mind waiting on you Lord"