Kelli. in real life

Are You a Praying Woman?

In January of this year many people celebrated the start a new season.

My husband and I were very excited, but exhausted as well. We had only known I was pregnant for about 3 weeks but were already feeling the effects of my being tired and emotionally on edge, he and some friends had moved 80% of our belongings from one place to another on Christmas Eve, and we had just returned from a youth convention in Ohio, followed by an out of town engagement on New Years Eve. 

We were drained; mentally, physically, and spiritually.

One day during prayer I was overcome with emotions. I was crying out to the Lord about how I felt like my husband was so consumed with responsibility that he had forgotten about the importance of our relationship. I told the Lord I was hurt and feeling "uncovered" and "Unprotected" as a wife. I knew the Lord would understand and send his gentle but firm correction down on my husband. :)

As I finished and wiped my tears, waiting for the Lord to respond , He spoke this to my spirit. 

"What have you done for him?"

The Lord began to show me how he had created me as a woman to nurture, encourage, romance, and express love and compassion. He showed me the areas in which I was lacking. He didnt blame me, He didnt point the finger at me. But he reminded me that I had lost the love and devotion to a simple principle. 

PRAYER. 

Sure I prayed. In fact, if a person called me with a request I would (and still do ) snot and cry and call  upon the name of the Lord until I felt a release in my spirit that I had touched the heart of God. But on my husband's behalf I was too caught up in the things I felt he "owed" me to realize that the answer was simple. PRAY. COVER. SPEAK. BELIEVE.

In the beginning of our marriage I used to lay hands on my husband and speak into him. I used to cover him with the word of God on a daily basis. I realized I had lost that initiative.

Since that day in January, I've been taking time out of almost every day to COVER my husband in scripture and prayer. Some days are more difficult than others : ) and some days I just plain dont feel like it. But God, because he is faithful has manifested the benefits of prayer in my marriage in just a short time since that day in January. 

There are many seasons to a marriage, and at times we get so caught up in what God is using us to do, or calling us to do that we forget our first ministry is at home. Although our children are a beautiful blessing , our spouses are our fist priority. They are the one whom we have joined in covenant. 

Just a simple reminder to pray for your spouse. Just think, if you're not praying for them, there's no guarantee that anyone is. 

4 years....

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful,

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (I Corinthians 13: 4-7)

Babe, when I say I love you....I mean it. 

Happy Anniversary!

Love,

Kelli

Good Man, Great God (Part 2)

I've often shared with those close to me that sometimes being talented or gifted seems more of a burden than a blessing. 

I'm sure my husband would say I sometimes make him feel that way. 

Because he's so talented in so many different areas, I have a hard time accepting that right now there are no opportunities for him to use them all and be compensated for them. He works for a retail computer store and LOVES his job. But it often leaves us financially short, scrounging for personal time, and missing out on church events. As a wife who knows his longing desire to be active in ministry but also able to use all his talents and provide for his family, I'm often frustrated at our present circumstances. If this was all there could be that would be one thing. But inside I know God has so much more for us. 

I often feel like his customers get the most personalized attention from him. They get to enjoy his beautiful smile. His pleasant tone of voice. His endearing personality that makes others feel important. 

His co workers get to spend the day with him; listening to his silly jokes, drawing from his wisdom and knowledge, and occasionally eating lunch with him. 

By the time he gets home to us, he lavishes on our little boy; reading him stories, wrestling with him, and teaching him scriptures. After that, he pretty much wants to veg out and get ready for the next day, and if Im lucky I get a half hour or so of quality time. 

These last 2 weeks my husband was working on a music project. My heart was overjoyed knowing he was actively using another one of his gifts and enjoying it all the while. But I longed to have time with him. It became just another reason for him to be busy; helping someone else and leaving the left overs for me. 

I complained in my journal. ALOT. 

Then the Holy Spirit sort of tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Pray for him".

I won't lie. I'd been so consumed by the circumstances that my prayers had been filled with asking for provision, direction, and favor, but not once had I specifically prayed for my husband; his feelings, his destiny, his relationship with God. 

I've been reminded that my prayers for him cannot be contingent on whether or not I feel appreciated, covered, or even loved. My prayers for him must be contingent on the fact that God's word promises that if I ask in faith believing, in HIS name, it shall be given unto me. How silly to have a promise for an answer, but never take the time to ask. 

So today I started all over again. Praying for my husband. 

If I don't, who will?

 

Good Man, Great God

I imagine this is a topic I may be referring to numerous times over the next few weeks as I allow God to deal with me personally in this area. 

I grew up around good men. 

My father was (and still is) a christian man. He taught sunday school and served on the deacon board alongside my grandfather. He worked a full time job as well as 2 occasional part time jobs to provide for our family. I never heard him curse. I never saw him raise a hand to my mother. I even heard other less fortunate kids say, "I wish he was my dad".

Both of my grandfathers were good men. One of my grandfathers was a deacon, a sunday school teacher, and a student of the Word of God and prayer. My other grandfather was a school teacher for many years, and both were well liked and respected in the community. 

I had great examples of good men in my life. 

When dating, I had some good and bad experiences with young men. (I'll get a little deeper into that in the near future). But for the most part, I dated handsome, motivated, Christian men.

My husband is very much like my father. Very handsome. Laid back. Peaceful. Gentle but strong. Well liked. My husband also has a BUNDLE (literally) of talents and gifts that God has given him. He's a musician (3 instruments), trained in all genres of music. He's a producer. He's experienced in sound engineering, artist management, graphic design, and MAC computers. He's a maestro.

But I'm sometimes extremely hard on him because of all of these talents. When i look into his eyes I see limitless potential, and I often feel that he's not using his abilities to their maximum potential. Even when it comes to the way he treats me and responds to me; I harp on him about that too. When we were dating he gave me cards, flowers, held my hand first, brushed my cheek, and said all the right things. Because of the difficult relationship I was in prior to dating my husband, trusting him was very imperative. It was his honesty and open expression of his love for me that helped me to let down my guard and allow myself to fall in love with him. 

We all know that life's circumstances can sometimes come at us fast and throw us off track at times. We've had a rough year when it comes to unexpected trials, and I've unfairly blamed him for a lot of them. 

Last night I was shopping in Target (as I do once or twice a week), and the Holy Spirit began to deal with me about my husband. 

*He is not my source of joy, income, or purpose. GOD IS

*He deserves the same patience, understanding, and forgiveness that I expect him to give me. 

*If you give him to me and stop trying to play God, I'll make him into the man of God he's pre-destined to be. 

*He's human and will never be able to keep all his promises. But I am God and what Ive promised you, it WILL COME TO PASS.

I stood in the magazine aisle at Target and tears began to stream down my face. For years I have operated in "defense" mode. I've been used, misunderstood, and abandoned, and I imagine I felt the need to protect myself. In marriage, I've made the assumption that my husband would be my all mighty defender, when in fact he is the SON of a king, and not the KING himself. I have unknowingly laid all this responsibility on my husband that in honesty DOES NOT BELONG TO HIM. 

Yes he's my husband; my covering, the priest of my home. But GOD is his source. And when I try to play HOLY SPIRIT and take it upon myself to constantly convict and reprimand, I AM OUT OF LINE, and standing in the way of my husband receiving true direction from his SOURCE. 

No argument or disagreement brought this on. It was simply the convicting but upbuilding love of God that reminded me...

YES....I have given you a GOOD MAN, but never forget I AM A GREAT GOD!!!!!

(to be continued)

Loud Green Frogs

It happens every morning around the same time; somewhere between 6 - 6:15 am.
My husband's alarm on his IPhone goes off and our room is filled with a bunch of LOUD GREEN FROGS. Yes, my husband chose the sounds of "ribbiting" frogs over a sweet symphony, or a ringing bell to wake up to every morning. He prefers to wake up to GREEN FROGS

Of course I don't mean that in a literal sense. I just mean that the sound coming from his phone is so loud and shrill that it fills our entire room. My husband seems to have a hearing problem between the time he goes to bed and the time he actually wakes up; so in spite of a crying child, a whining cat outside, or even the loudest alarm clock I've ever heard; he doesn't wake up without a nudge from me; sometimes more than one.

To top things off, he then pushes snooze until at least 7 am. So picture this; every 10 minutes from 6 and 7, my room is filled with loud, green frogs and my husband is absolutely oblivious; while I'm desperately trying to wake him.

By the time he actually does get up (a little after 7); I've been up for over an hour warring with loud, obnoxious, hopping green frogs. Not a very pleasant way to wake up every morning.

I love you babe, but the frogs must DIE!

Homebody or Social Butterfly???

The last 2 weeks or so, I've been putting in some extra hours at work. We've got a few things coming up that require a little extra money. Instead of expecting my husband to "hand it all over', I've been doing what I can to bring in some extra revenue so we can move(in a few weeks), get some new furniture (thank God), and I'm supposed to go away with a friend for a week. (yay for mommy!)

In my free time, I've noticed I've been out and about more than usual. I'm normally the type that likes to be at home, curled up in front of the tv or reading a book; just relaxing and being quiet. (Well as quiet as quiet can be with a 2 year old).

Lately, I've been meeting up with friends for coffee, going to the movies, having playdates, or just venturing out on my own more often. It's not that I'm a shy person (the thought of me being shy is hilarious), nor am I quite the loner. But the truth is, I actually don't mind being a lone. Biologically, I'm an only child, so I'm used to entertaining myself.

What I've noticed is that the last 2 weeks have been emotional and filled with lots of ups and downs. Some of those "downs" are still kind of "up" in the air. There's been death, overdue bills, misunderstandings with loved ones, etc. Both my husband and I have sort of "taken turns" finding outlets to keep us sane. He's been playing at gigs, and indulging in a few rock band challenges with some friends. I've had more "coffee and/or movie" dates more than ever. And together as a couple, we've enjoyed fellowship with other christian couples.

It's a weird season in our lives, but both us have found strength by managing our time well, communicating honestly, and having some good, healthy fun.

How about you? When life throw's you a curve ball do you tend to stay home, or do you come out of your cocoon and socialize to keep your mind off things?