Kelli. in real life

CHURCH!!!!!RISE UP!!!!!

Yesterday was a very historical day. Barack Obama; a man of African descent, was elected president of these United States. 

I thought of all my ancestors; black and white, who fought against this day and for it. I thought of all the senseless beatings and murders that took place based on the color of a persons skin. I thought of all the long, sweltering days that slaves spent working for a "massa', trusting in a God they'd never seen to bring them deliverance and freedom. 

I did not vote for Barack Obama. 

As a woman who has had a miscarriage and seen the tiny, bloody form of a fetus and held it in her hands, I will never believe that it is right to murder a child no matter how small. I could not vote for a man who would allow women to use abortions as a form of birth control. 

I did not vote for John McCain.

Although his views were much more like the beliefs i have as a Christian; when in prayer I could not find the peace I asked for in order to vote for him. 

So I exercised my right to write in a candidate. 

However, as an African American woman, I cried tears of joy last night. I cannot imagine the dreams that were fulfilled last night. Innocent blood that cried out from the ground because in a sense, freedom was attained. A black man was now recognized for his character, wisdom, and hopefulness rather than the color of his skin. 

Yet as a Christian I felt the joy in knowing that my Jesus is soon to return for His church. 

The bible speaks of times like this. "The last days"...when people would be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. ( 2 Timothy 2-7a)

"Now concerning the times and seasons, brothers, you have no need to have anything written to you. For you  yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "There is peace and security," then sudden destruction will come upon them as a pregnant woman and they will not escape." 1 (Thessalonians 5:1-3)

Somewhere inside us a FIRE should be burning brighter and hotter than ever. THESE ARE THE LAST DAYS. We must work while its day for night is coming! Whatever God has put on our hearts to do, NOW IS THE TIME TO DO IT!!!! I am APPALLED at this defeated attitude I'm seeing and hearing from Christians who are obviously not happy with last nights results. Our trust is never in a political candidate, but in our GOD who is all powerful and all knowing. Why are people acting so surprised by these turn of events? And if NOTHING else, why can't we celebrate the monumental occasion of a minority being voted in a presidential office? Is there still an underlying river of hypocrisy called RACISM that we cannot put our differences aside and respect the victory of a people?

And as African Americans (who are Christians), are we so caught up in the "victory" that we forget our first responsibility is to our Savior? That while this is a joyous occasion for the overcoming of a people, there is now a president going into office that will be targeted on a daily basis? Are we naive to the fact that these attacks may fall down on us as well? 

Why are we so caught off guard? Have we not discerned the day in which we live?

"But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief." I Thess 5:4

"So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober."

Church!!! Stop pouting, complaining, and murmuring. Stand up and take your rightful place. 

RISE UP!!!!!!!!!

Draw Me Lord & I'll Come Running After You

My evening has taken an unexpected turn.
After being on a holiday with my sister for a week and returning just yesterday, I spent most of the day (after church) lounging around the house with my husband and my toddler son. Tonight I intended on catching up on some reading, taking a hot bath, and watching a movie with my husband.
My plans were interrupted about an hour by a call from a friend.
A close and dear friend.
A friend that has never turned His back on me even when I haven't been true to our relationship.
Never lied to me.
Never failed.
Consistent.
All knowing.
Forgiving.
and extremely loving.

My Savior.
My Father.
My Lover.
My Friend.
My Jesus.
My GOD.

While on vacation my sister and I listened to a variety of music. We're both singers, songwriters, and worshippers; so music is a common thread between us. I'd heard her sing a beautiful song once before, but had never inquired about the artist who sang it. While driving one day she played the song. We listened. We listened again. We felt the presence of God, and listened again.
Tonight I intended on downloading/purchasing the song to gift to 2 of my dear friends for their personal prayer time. But as I listened, I felt the Lord calling me into His presence.

For over an hour now I have been trying to take these songs off of repeat, but my spirit is full as I meditate on the character and essence of who God is.

Who am I that He would desire to have fellowship, conversation, and intimacy with me?

I love my husband deeply. I love him for the man he is and is becoming. I love his gifts and talents. I love his handsome face, soft kisses and gentle touch. I love his smile. I love the way he loves our son. I love him as my friend and my love. While away from him I missed him so much I could almost smell his cologne at night when I laid my head down to sleep and I longed to be in his arms.

But friend, as precious as the bond I share with my husband, there is no comparison to the bond and covenant shared with my Savior. To begin to describe it is almost foolish, for as a worshipper I could never run out of words to describe who God is to me.

I think David summed it up best when he said, "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is the fulness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

I had questions tonight; questions about my future, my purpose, my abilities, and even my standing with God. For an hour I have sat right here at this computer, worshipping in silence, tears streaming down my face, while God has LITERALLY deposited direction, joy, peace, and sweet peace into my spirit".

And although I was sitting right here in my living room while my husband watched football, I felt as if I were sitting by a private lake, rocking in a chair, candles all around, while my Savior; my Jesus gave me roses, reminded me of his promises, forgave me of my wrong, gave me instruction, and just sat with me as if there were no place He would rather be.

My cup is full and overflowing.

Dear friends;
I encourage you; if you're dry and thirsty
if you're lost and wandering,
or if you're a believer simply looking for more of God....

He promised "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you" (James 5:8a)

I imagine I'll sleep sweetly tonight...
hearing this psalm of worship sung by Myron Williams

"Draw me.....Draw me Lord....and I'll come running after you
Draw me....Draw me Lord...and I'll come running after you

.................

I don't mind waiting....I don't mind waiting.....I don't mind waiting on you Lord
I don't mind waiting.....I don't mind waiting.......I don't mind waiting on you Lord"

Feel The Prayer Wheel Turnin'

My grandmother and grandfather used to get up early in the morning and pray.
Sometimes they would kneel beside their bed and pray, but other times they would go to the church and pray.
Sometimes my parents would go, but if they had to be at work occasionally, I went with my grandparents.
There would usually be about 6-10 people that would show up for early morning prayer. But even as a child, I was fascinated by what went on in those prayer meetings.
Sometimes there was weeping.
Sometimes there was rejoicing.
Sometimes there was silence.
Sometimes they sang songs.
But all the time....it was powerful.

I used to hear seasoned women in the church say, "I feel the prayer wheel turnin".

It meant that they felt the Spirit of the Lord stirring within them, calling them to prayer and intimacy with him.

As a child, and even now this is what I see when I think of a "prayer wheel turnin'".

Its a water wheel.
A device created long ago using flowing water to create POWER.

Even as I write that I feel a rush of excitement.

When God calls us into a time of prayer; true prayer that includes intercession ( standing in the gap fervently for someone else), warfare (praying against spiritual wickedness and things that are not of God) , and supplication (asking and requesting God for specific things)...its like a well of water inside of us is being turned through a wheel (prayer) to create POWER.

The bible speaks of this in different ways.....

"But you shall receive power after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you" Acts 1:8a

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, let your requests be made known unto God. " Phillipians 4:6

"Like wise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings to deep for words. " Romans 8:26

Sounds like a prayer wheel to me.

Today, open your heart to the Holy Spirit. Allow that well of living water living inside you to flow freely. Open your mouth in faith and allow God to fill it with words of prayer, intercession, and supplication with thanksgiving.

Today I prayed for you. My heart was overwhelmed with love for you...anyone and everyone who reads this today.

I pray that you will be called into the love of Christ today and experience what He has for you.

I feel the prayer wheel turnin'

Walking Without Crutches

When I was younger I played a couple of sports.
I wasn't "great" at any of them, but I was decent enough to have a future in college athletics if I worked hard enough.

Somewhere between my junior and senior year in high school, I sprained my ankle while playing either basketball or soccer. (I can't quite remember). I remember my ankle swelling up to the size of a baseball. It was quite tender to the touch.

For a week or so, I was on crutches. Although it was only a slight sprain, my doctor insisted I stay off of it for at least a week. At home I hobbled and hopped around, but at school, crutches were my only option.

Today I thought about those crutches. I can remember how strange it felt to try and walk on my own after I'd gotten used to the crutches. I had nothing to lean on, and pressing down too hard, too quick, sent a throbbing pain through my foot and up my leg. It was uncomfortable.

For the last few days I've been uncomfortable.
Something unexpected happened in my life on Friday that sent my emotions into a whirlwind, let alone the effects on my physical body. The last few weeks I'd experienced a renewing and heightening of my faith in God. I was riding high.

But just like that day when I was hurt unexpectedly in the "prime" of my "career" (and I say that very lightly) in athletics, this trial came upon me, literally like a flood.

It brought back a flood of tears, emotions, and even fears.

But this time, things were different.

No one knew what I was going through, so there was no one there to help.

And those who did know were busy with their own problems, and couldnt help me.

My husband was swamped at work.

My sister was sick with laryngitis and was thousands of miles away.

My friends were vacationing and enjoying themselves.

All that was left was me and God.

No more crutches.

The last few days have been rough. But I've realized people and things can never fill the natural void inside of me that only God can fill. People can only be human, and things fade away. But God; He never changes or fails.

It's been hard. It's been uncomfortable. But I'm learning to walk without crutches.

Are you too dependent on your family or friends when it comes to life's trials?

This is me in real life, Kelli.

Heaven

"I've got heaven in my view. I feel heaven when I worship you.... When I Worship You"
("Heaven" written by Deitrick Haddon)

I don't need a choir.
I don't need a popular worship song to be sung by someone with the most beautiful voice I've ever heard.
I don't need pictures and lights flashing to get me "in the mood".
I don't need a church building.

Not today.

Today my heart is overflowing with a longing for nothing of this world, and all things of heaven.
Not the streets paved with gold, or the singing angels, or the loved ones who have passed on.

I'm yearning for heaven. Not the place called "heaven", but the experience of heaven.

Have you ever prayed or worshipped God until you felt like "heaven" was all around you?

His literal presence surrounding you until there were no words to speak, and no song could even come close to expressing the beauty of his glory......

My heart is filled with joy as I anticipate God's presence during my prayer time today. I just can't wait to lay aside the cares and duties of this life and steal away with my Savior.

I can feel Him tugging at my heart.

I want nothing more today, than to be with Him.

I want to be in HEAVEN.

This is me in real life, Kelli

Christian and Jesus

In the months since I miscarried, I've endured a lot of emotional ups and downs.
I've tried to keep my pain hidden; for the sake of those around me.
Let's face it; grief is uncomfortable for people to deal with.
I knew that although the wound was still fresh to me, others had moved on and had possibly even forgot about my miscarriage.

In the last few days things had been especially difficult for me.
Since that day in March, 3 of my friends have had beautiful, healthy babies.
It doesn't hurt at all to see them or hold them.
It doesn't hurt to rejoice with my friends and celebrate their happiness.
It hurts when I lay my hand on my own belly that should be well with child.
It hurts when I think of this coming September, and the excitement I felt at the thought of yet again giving birth.
It hurts when Canaan remembers and touches my stomach and says, "Is the baby in there?"

But today....it doesn't hurt.
Today my heart is overjoyed at the reality of it all.

I was reading in this book "The Shack" today, and ever since I picked it up, it has changed my life piece by piece. You see, my love language is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. I am most moved when people take the time to tell me in detail why they care about me, or what they see in me, or how much they love me. And this book is like one, giant, love letter to me from God. It is changing me. And today I even felt his love heal me.

In this story, a man loses his youngest daughter to a heinous crime. It rips through him like a saw, and puts a rift between him and God. Somehow (you'll have to read the book to find out how), he has this amazing encounter with God, and as God begins to reveal himself to this man, he is changed and restored. In this particular passage this man has a chance to see his daughter, and although he cannot touch her, he weeps with joy at this sight.....

"Just then someone called Missy's name and Mack recognized the voice. She shrieked with delight and started to run....Abruptly she stopped and ran back to her daddy. She made a big embrace as if she were hugging him and, with eyes closed, overexaggerated a kiss. From the barrier he hugged her back...........

And now Mack could clearly see the voice that had called his Missy. It was Jesus....Without hesitation Missy leaped into his arms.....The voicing of their joy was a symphony to Mack's ears, and as he watched, his tears flowed freely."

A few days after the miscarriage I had a dream of my son. He had the biggest black, curly locks, and large bright eyes. His skin was the color of copper. He was running in a field of what looked like tall grass and daisies. He kept turning back to smile at me, and I even heard him laugh.

Now...to read this passage , and to recall that dream, I now understand.

I may have never experienced the joy of being his mother here on this earth. But I never "lost " him.
My son, My Christian is LITERALLY with Jesus. I mean, how much more could I ask for? He'll never taste of the pain this world sometimes brings. All he knows is the joy of being loved by Jesus.

Yes, I am crying.
Yes, I miss him deeply.
But my heart is full of joy knowing that Jesus knows my pain and grief,
and he does not judge me for it, or wish that I'd get over it.

But instead, he gave me a glimpse of his love today.

My Christian is with Jesus.