Kelli. in real life

The GOSPEL

I have a confession to make. 

I was "this close" to giving up on gospel music. 

I've gotten tired of the "feel good" no scripturally based music, entertainment focused music that has come from the gospel music industry in the last few years. Being that Ive been a background vocalist for 3 major gospel artists, it broke my heart to be disheartened by much of the music I heard from various artists. 

Nothing wrong with expressing one's music ability and versatility.

But the world around us is dying, and we as believers are called to preach, sing, and witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Its more than a melody.

More than a catchy phrase. 

Its the TRUTH that can transform lives. 

This morning, my faith was restored. 

 I met Donald Lawrence when I was a teenager. I was singing with a group led by a singer named, "Keith Dobbins". I was amazed at the raw talent of Donald's singers. I knew all the songs, had the albums, and even thought Donald was cute. ( lol) In other words I've always enjoyed his music for various reasons. But this morning, the music God gave Him RENEWED me in such a way that only music full of Gods word and anointing can. Songs like, "The Blessing is On You", "The Word of the Lord", and "There is a King in You"...filled to the brim with the LIVING word of God. How powerful when we decree the word of the Lord OUT LOUD. Gospel may not be your genre of choice, but do yourself a favor and look into this project. 

Just read a few words from the song the Blessing is on You

"The Lord has made a covenant with you

He has promised that He would bless you

You are in the earth but you live above the curse

You are kingdom you have rights

Blessings come with no struggle or fight

So when recession comes you won't be effected

When sickness comes you'll have good health

The dollar may fail, your wealth will increase

War all around, you'll be at peace"

Dear believer,

Dear friend who knows there is a God but needs to hear His voice.....

Get this cd and be encouraged.....

I dare you to believe

The blessing is on YOU

I Get By With a Little Help From my SISTERS

Meet my sisters.

Up top is "Babe Cooper" and here below is "Babe Knight".

They're not my buddies. 

They're not my friends.

They're not my pals.

They're my sisters. 

Babe Cooper and I have been sisters for 6 years or so. We met when I started singing background for Dorinda Clark Cole, and immediately became close. On the day of my wedding, she was the last person I saw before I walked down the aisle with my father. She cried with me, rejoiced with me, and today is blessed with a wonderful husband and daughter. 

Babe Knight and I have been sisters for less than 2 years, but it feels like forever. Ours was an ironic meeting at a live recording on which we both sang. We didn't keep in touch like we promised, but a year later connected again, and have been stuck like glue ever since. Ours is a spiritual connection; divinely orchestrated.

As fate, or God would have it; Babe Knight and Babe Cooper hit it off right away, and now all of us are inseparable. 

Today I went to Babe Cooper's house to get my hair done. We were on a three way speaker phone call with Babe Knight (who lives in Cali) and I began to be transparent and tell my sisters that I was afraid. I told them how I couldn't stop thinking about the miscarriage in March, and how it was taking everything within me to believe that the baby I'm carrying inside of me now is alive and well. 

Babe Cooper immediately said, "Babe...I believe everything's ok. At church on Sunday I was praising God and thanking Him in advance for this healthy baby you're going to have. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE GOD"

Babe Knight chimed in and said, "You have to speak the word to your mind and tell your mind to tell your body to line up with the Word of God. Don't allow what may be a reality that yes you lost a baby, to dictate to you that you're going to lose this one. We're going to believe that this baby is alive and well and you're going to have a healthy pregnancy."

Then because Babe Knight was at a church function she went into many salutations and blessings with people around her. Babe Cooper and I had a field day teasing her about her "meet and greet". 

A normal conversation. A normal banter of mockery back and forth. A normal exchange of sisterly love and laughter. 

But yet, I drove home with tears pouring down my face. 

I am SO BLESSED to have TRUE sisters, who although not my blood have been joined to me through the covenant of Christ. They wouldn't let me fall today. They didn't pat my back and baby my emotions.

 They spoke the WORD and helped me to stand on it. 

Once home, I grabbed a book I read regularly called "Supernatural Childbirth". I began to read and recite the scriptures listed inside and I came to this ...FEAR is F(alse) E(vidence) A(bout) R(eality).

Everything my sisters had spoken to me today was confirmed. 

I will spend the rest of the day reciting and meditating on Gods promises and thanking Him for sisters who care enough to remind me of those promises. 

Time Out

Today I'm taking a "time out" from the every day ups and downs and ins and outs. For the next hour I've decided my greatest struggle doesn't exist. I'm not anxious, worrying, doubtful, fearful, or beating myself up. For the next hour I am FREE!!!!!

 This all started this morning when I woke up and was greeted by my issues and worries, shortcomings and bills, strengths and weaknesses, all at once. Just as I began to cry the Holy Spirit nudged me and I felt him whisper this to me. "Just try me...........take a break from trying to fix everything.....just try me. "  Capitol idea, I thought. But seeing that worry and anxiety have become a part of my actual being over the last few years, I knew it would be kind of hard to just "snap out of it." So I set a reasonable goal. For the next hour....I AM FREE. 

To some this may be silly. Worry and anxiety may not be your worst enemies. Maybe it's easy for you to accept God grace and mercy daily. But condemnation is a constant foe of mine. When I feel I've let God down, or even if bills overwhelm me, or things don't work out like I expected, it effects every part of my life. I lose inspiration. I become afraid and defensive. I stop praying. I began to feel helpless. 

But I love how God's word is alive and can speak loudly to our situations. 

"He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;" Psalm 103 :10-11

I once heard someone say faith is like a muscle...its got to be exercised. Life has thrown a many curve balls my direction the last 2 years and my faith has taken a beating. But today I'm putting on my workout clothes and Im exercising my faith. Who knows this hour of relief may lead to a new way of life....TRUE FREEDOM!!!!

 

And the Grammy Goes To.....

I got my start in the music business singing back up for a dynamic vocalist by the name of DEITRICK HADDON. I moved to Detroit from Ohio in the late fall of 2002 to serve as house psalmist at a fast growing church in the inner city. Within 3 months of moving here, I was standing in front of a video camera auditioning for a group that I had admired for years (Deitrick Haddon & Voices of Unity). That audition tape changed my life. 

I got word that I was chosen for the group just a few days after the audition, but later that year an even bigger dream came true. Deitrick had also branched out on his own into a solo career and I was asked to begin traveling with him as a background singer. It was a dream come true.

I had been a worship leader for about 2 years, with no professional training, just a true passion for God, music, and people. Deitrick's personality and amazing ability to captivate a crowd helped me transition from a worship leader to an aspiring artist. I began to understand the differences and similarities between ministry and entertainment. 

In 2006 we received a Stellar award for this project on which I sang 3 leads. About this time I had also began singing background for another phenomenal gospel artist, Dorinda Clark Cole of the famed Clark sisters. 

 I had recently gotten married (to Deitrick's wife's godbrother) and Deitrick and Damita Haddon had moved to Florida. (later to Atlanta). With the new marriage and the distance, I started traveling less with Deitrick and more often with Dorinda. But I never forgot where I started. You see, gospel is sometimes mushed together into this category that doesn't allow for the different styles, genres, and demographics that are represented differently by each artist. Deitrick was urban. He was and still is in my opinion, the Michael Jackson of the gospel industry. He just knows how to work a crowd. 

Last year, we recorded a worship album in Tampa, Florida at a church called WITHOUT WALLS, where Deitrick served as youth pastor for awhile. From the first time I heard the songs I felt at home in them. They were easy to learn because the lyrics spoke of the passion only a true worshipper can feel. The night we recorded the album was almost magical. 

Since that time I've sung with Deitrick maybe 3 times as compared to the regular bi weekly trips (sometimes more) we used to take to youth conferences, retreats, and music festivals. But I've never stopped supporting him. It has been through his passion for music and ministry that I have learned about the music industry, but also grown in my love for God. We've been all across this country and around the world, singing, dancing, laughing, fussing, forgiving, laughing more, crying, praying, believing and experiencing many times of refreshing and the wind of God. 

That's why it is with great joy and humility, I am thrilled to have been a part of TOGETHER IN WORSHIP, which has been nominated for a GRAMMY. Ironically, Dr. Cole's (Dorinda Clark Cole) newest studio album has been nominated for a GRAMMY as well....in the SAME category. 

I have much to be thankful for. 

Think..... A Response

On Sunday afternoon, I returned from visiting family out of state for the holidays. I was tired, overloaded mentally, and was starting to feel physically bad as well. My husband took our 2 year old to visit some of his family that we didn't see over the holiday, and I opted to crawl under the covers and pop in a movie. My choice : Autumn Hearts, starring Susan Sarandon. 

I'm a movie buff. Occasionally I enjoy the hysteria of a laugh out loud comedy or a hold on to your seat action flick, but for the most part I am drawn to the drama genre. You know the kind of movie that leaves you breathless or overwhelmed with tears, or thinking so hard afterwards that your brow is folded into a frown? Love those movies. 

Knowing how "fragile" I was after the long drive, I should've known better than to watch this movie. It was a tale of 2 children separated from their families and thrown into concentration camps. Years later they are reunited not only with each other, but also with the older man that protected them during their time in the camps and gave them hope. 

After all the years of torture, heartbreak, and unanswered questions, Susan Sarandon's character is quite scarred. She marries a professor who doesn't necessarily love her, but rather tolerates her and provides for her. She has a son and grandson whom are the loves of her life, but she's so consumed by the hurt of the past that she can not truly live. 

While looking at her life and all the broken pieces that make it up, she stares blankly at herself in the mirror; reflecting on the years passed, the affairs she's certain her husband is having, the love she lost, and the person she has unintentionally become and she says these words.......

If you ask me if I believe in God.....forgive me if I respond, Does God believe in me?"

I gasped out loud. 

It was that moment in the movie when you completely connect with the character, the script, the setting, and the feeling and forget that it's only a movie. 

I have felt this way many times this year. It's quite easy for me to believe in God. I know nothing else. But many times I have felt that God doesn't believe in me. 

This year I have not only lost a child, but held that small fetus in my hands. 

I have wept until my eyes would not open. 

I've been told it's possible I may not be able to conceive a child again. (Although, I do not believe this to be true)

I've dreamed of my sweet son Christian dancing in the arms of Jesus, and while it has brought me happiness to know he is with Jesus, I will never forget that I never had the chance to hear him call me "Mommy".

i've been disappointed this year. 

People who have told me they believed in me and made promises to me have vanished, or conveniently found more important things to do, or younger prodigies to pour into. 

I've been built up to be let down. 

I've felt depression kiss the nape of my neck time and time again, and it's only been God's grace that I have not succumbed to its haunting touch. 

I've been misunderstood. overlooked. and its worn on me. 

I thought on this quote, and I thought of how often our circumstances and feelings tell us that there is no hope, not enough love for us, no place for us, and that we are truly lost without an option to be found. 

Then I read this,

WE HIDE. HE SEEKS. WE BRING SIN. HE BRINGS A SACRIFICE. WE TRY FIG LEAVES. HE BRINGS THE ROBE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS. AND WE ARE LEFT TO SING THE SONG OF A PROPHET:

HE HAS COVERED ME WITH CLOTHES OF SALVATION AND WRAPPED ME WITH A COAT OF GOODNESS. LIKE A BRIDEGROOM DRESSED FOR HIS WEDDING, LIKE A BRIDE DRESSED IN JEWELS.( Isaiah 61:10)

I will not lie and say these words made everything ok. But they gave me hope and a solution for my problem. It is through God's love that I can be restored, healed, forgiven, and enabled to forgive. 

Too often as believers we are made to feel that our problems are not real, our feelings, not valid, our hurt not significantly deep. I have come to find that by feeling and acknowledging my issues, I can in turn acknowledge and realize I have a God who is touched by the feeling of my infirmities, and through His great compassion and unfailing love, I can be whole. 

Thank God .....He believes in me. 

CHURCH!!!!!RISE UP!!!!!

Yesterday was a very historical day. Barack Obama; a man of African descent, was elected president of these United States. 

I thought of all my ancestors; black and white, who fought against this day and for it. I thought of all the senseless beatings and murders that took place based on the color of a persons skin. I thought of all the long, sweltering days that slaves spent working for a "massa', trusting in a God they'd never seen to bring them deliverance and freedom. 

I did not vote for Barack Obama. 

As a woman who has had a miscarriage and seen the tiny, bloody form of a fetus and held it in her hands, I will never believe that it is right to murder a child no matter how small. I could not vote for a man who would allow women to use abortions as a form of birth control. 

I did not vote for John McCain.

Although his views were much more like the beliefs i have as a Christian; when in prayer I could not find the peace I asked for in order to vote for him. 

So I exercised my right to write in a candidate. 

However, as an African American woman, I cried tears of joy last night. I cannot imagine the dreams that were fulfilled last night. Innocent blood that cried out from the ground because in a sense, freedom was attained. A black man was now recognized for his character, wisdom, and hopefulness rather than the color of his skin. 

Yet as a Christian I felt the joy in knowing that my Jesus is soon to return for His church. 

The bible speaks of times like this. "The last days"...when people would be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. ( 2 Timothy 2-7a)

"Now concerning the times and seasons, brothers, you have no need to have anything written to you. For you  yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "There is peace and security," then sudden destruction will come upon them as a pregnant woman and they will not escape." 1 (Thessalonians 5:1-3)

Somewhere inside us a FIRE should be burning brighter and hotter than ever. THESE ARE THE LAST DAYS. We must work while its day for night is coming! Whatever God has put on our hearts to do, NOW IS THE TIME TO DO IT!!!! I am APPALLED at this defeated attitude I'm seeing and hearing from Christians who are obviously not happy with last nights results. Our trust is never in a political candidate, but in our GOD who is all powerful and all knowing. Why are people acting so surprised by these turn of events? And if NOTHING else, why can't we celebrate the monumental occasion of a minority being voted in a presidential office? Is there still an underlying river of hypocrisy called RACISM that we cannot put our differences aside and respect the victory of a people?

And as African Americans (who are Christians), are we so caught up in the "victory" that we forget our first responsibility is to our Savior? That while this is a joyous occasion for the overcoming of a people, there is now a president going into office that will be targeted on a daily basis? Are we naive to the fact that these attacks may fall down on us as well? 

Why are we so caught off guard? Have we not discerned the day in which we live?

"But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief." I Thess 5:4

"So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober."

Church!!! Stop pouting, complaining, and murmuring. Stand up and take your rightful place. 

RISE UP!!!!!!!!!