Kelli. in real life

I Get By With a Little Help From my SISTERS

Meet my sisters.

Up top is "Babe Cooper" and here below is "Babe Knight".

They're not my buddies. 

They're not my friends.

They're not my pals.

They're my sisters. 

Babe Cooper and I have been sisters for 6 years or so. We met when I started singing background for Dorinda Clark Cole, and immediately became close. On the day of my wedding, she was the last person I saw before I walked down the aisle with my father. She cried with me, rejoiced with me, and today is blessed with a wonderful husband and daughter. 

Babe Knight and I have been sisters for less than 2 years, but it feels like forever. Ours was an ironic meeting at a live recording on which we both sang. We didn't keep in touch like we promised, but a year later connected again, and have been stuck like glue ever since. Ours is a spiritual connection; divinely orchestrated.

As fate, or God would have it; Babe Knight and Babe Cooper hit it off right away, and now all of us are inseparable. 

Today I went to Babe Cooper's house to get my hair done. We were on a three way speaker phone call with Babe Knight (who lives in Cali) and I began to be transparent and tell my sisters that I was afraid. I told them how I couldn't stop thinking about the miscarriage in March, and how it was taking everything within me to believe that the baby I'm carrying inside of me now is alive and well. 

Babe Cooper immediately said, "Babe...I believe everything's ok. At church on Sunday I was praising God and thanking Him in advance for this healthy baby you're going to have. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE GOD"

Babe Knight chimed in and said, "You have to speak the word to your mind and tell your mind to tell your body to line up with the Word of God. Don't allow what may be a reality that yes you lost a baby, to dictate to you that you're going to lose this one. We're going to believe that this baby is alive and well and you're going to have a healthy pregnancy."

Then because Babe Knight was at a church function she went into many salutations and blessings with people around her. Babe Cooper and I had a field day teasing her about her "meet and greet". 

A normal conversation. A normal banter of mockery back and forth. A normal exchange of sisterly love and laughter. 

But yet, I drove home with tears pouring down my face. 

I am SO BLESSED to have TRUE sisters, who although not my blood have been joined to me through the covenant of Christ. They wouldn't let me fall today. They didn't pat my back and baby my emotions.

 They spoke the WORD and helped me to stand on it. 

Once home, I grabbed a book I read regularly called "Supernatural Childbirth". I began to read and recite the scriptures listed inside and I came to this ...FEAR is F(alse) E(vidence) A(bout) R(eality).

Everything my sisters had spoken to me today was confirmed. 

I will spend the rest of the day reciting and meditating on Gods promises and thanking Him for sisters who care enough to remind me of those promises. 

Draw Me Lord & I'll Come Running After You

My evening has taken an unexpected turn.
After being on a holiday with my sister for a week and returning just yesterday, I spent most of the day (after church) lounging around the house with my husband and my toddler son. Tonight I intended on catching up on some reading, taking a hot bath, and watching a movie with my husband.
My plans were interrupted about an hour by a call from a friend.
A close and dear friend.
A friend that has never turned His back on me even when I haven't been true to our relationship.
Never lied to me.
Never failed.
Consistent.
All knowing.
Forgiving.
and extremely loving.

My Savior.
My Father.
My Lover.
My Friend.
My Jesus.
My GOD.

While on vacation my sister and I listened to a variety of music. We're both singers, songwriters, and worshippers; so music is a common thread between us. I'd heard her sing a beautiful song once before, but had never inquired about the artist who sang it. While driving one day she played the song. We listened. We listened again. We felt the presence of God, and listened again.
Tonight I intended on downloading/purchasing the song to gift to 2 of my dear friends for their personal prayer time. But as I listened, I felt the Lord calling me into His presence.

For over an hour now I have been trying to take these songs off of repeat, but my spirit is full as I meditate on the character and essence of who God is.

Who am I that He would desire to have fellowship, conversation, and intimacy with me?

I love my husband deeply. I love him for the man he is and is becoming. I love his gifts and talents. I love his handsome face, soft kisses and gentle touch. I love his smile. I love the way he loves our son. I love him as my friend and my love. While away from him I missed him so much I could almost smell his cologne at night when I laid my head down to sleep and I longed to be in his arms.

But friend, as precious as the bond I share with my husband, there is no comparison to the bond and covenant shared with my Savior. To begin to describe it is almost foolish, for as a worshipper I could never run out of words to describe who God is to me.

I think David summed it up best when he said, "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is the fulness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

I had questions tonight; questions about my future, my purpose, my abilities, and even my standing with God. For an hour I have sat right here at this computer, worshipping in silence, tears streaming down my face, while God has LITERALLY deposited direction, joy, peace, and sweet peace into my spirit".

And although I was sitting right here in my living room while my husband watched football, I felt as if I were sitting by a private lake, rocking in a chair, candles all around, while my Savior; my Jesus gave me roses, reminded me of his promises, forgave me of my wrong, gave me instruction, and just sat with me as if there were no place He would rather be.

My cup is full and overflowing.

Dear friends;
I encourage you; if you're dry and thirsty
if you're lost and wandering,
or if you're a believer simply looking for more of God....

He promised "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you" (James 5:8a)

I imagine I'll sleep sweetly tonight...
hearing this psalm of worship sung by Myron Williams

"Draw me.....Draw me Lord....and I'll come running after you
Draw me....Draw me Lord...and I'll come running after you

.................

I don't mind waiting....I don't mind waiting.....I don't mind waiting on you Lord
I don't mind waiting.....I don't mind waiting.......I don't mind waiting on you Lord"

Homebody or Social Butterfly???

The last 2 weeks or so, I've been putting in some extra hours at work. We've got a few things coming up that require a little extra money. Instead of expecting my husband to "hand it all over', I've been doing what I can to bring in some extra revenue so we can move(in a few weeks), get some new furniture (thank God), and I'm supposed to go away with a friend for a week. (yay for mommy!)

In my free time, I've noticed I've been out and about more than usual. I'm normally the type that likes to be at home, curled up in front of the tv or reading a book; just relaxing and being quiet. (Well as quiet as quiet can be with a 2 year old).

Lately, I've been meeting up with friends for coffee, going to the movies, having playdates, or just venturing out on my own more often. It's not that I'm a shy person (the thought of me being shy is hilarious), nor am I quite the loner. But the truth is, I actually don't mind being a lone. Biologically, I'm an only child, so I'm used to entertaining myself.

What I've noticed is that the last 2 weeks have been emotional and filled with lots of ups and downs. Some of those "downs" are still kind of "up" in the air. There's been death, overdue bills, misunderstandings with loved ones, etc. Both my husband and I have sort of "taken turns" finding outlets to keep us sane. He's been playing at gigs, and indulging in a few rock band challenges with some friends. I've had more "coffee and/or movie" dates more than ever. And together as a couple, we've enjoyed fellowship with other christian couples.

It's a weird season in our lives, but both us have found strength by managing our time well, communicating honestly, and having some good, healthy fun.

How about you? When life throw's you a curve ball do you tend to stay home, or do you come out of your cocoon and socialize to keep your mind off things?

I CRAM to understand you

This is MC Lyte.
I was first introduced to rap music by sneaking into my older cousins room when some of his friends were visiting. The "boom box" was up on his dresser drawer, and he and his friends were break dancing in the middle of the floor. I couldn't understand any of the lyrics except these...J-just like a test I cram to understand you. From that day on, I wanted to be like MC Lyte. I saved up my allowance to sneak and buy one of her tapes (parental advisory stamped boldly across the front cover). My parents listened to some secular music like Michael McDonald, Patti Labelle, Phil Collins, and Anita Baker,but as for me, I was only allowed to listen to gospel or christian music until I was about 15.

I knew nothing about the "ghetto" or "BROOKLYN" or this random guy named "sam" that she talked about, but something about her music was so cool to me.

**I have to say that as a teenager I did not know MC Lyte was a lesbian. Had I have known that I'm sure I would've chosen someone else to "be like".******

Today, I was thinking about a situation I've recently found myself in with someone I hold dear to my heart. A misunderstanding caused a rift between us, and naturally I've taken sometime to reflect on my own actions and thoughts. For some odd reason this rap kept coming in my mind.

J-just like a test...j-just like a test, j-just like a test, I CRAM TO UNDERSTAND YOU.

Do you remember what it was like to CRAM for a test? You stayed up the night before a test you weren't prepared for trying to shove all the information you possibly could into your brain. I can recall cramming so much once that I just broke into tears, because I realized there was no way I was going to remember all the information necessary to pass the test.

I thought about relationships in general, and how each of us is created with different "wiring" if you will. Likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, talents and strengths, problems and issues. Yet, when we "relate" to someone; that means there is a common thread somewhere that knits us together, and holds us close to one another.

In order for me to "relate" to those I love communication, understanding, and honesty play huge parts. I can't expect for someone to read my mind and know how I feel unless I tell them. I can't expect for an issue to be truly resolved unless clarity is brought through conversation. I can't claim that I love someone and lie to them about the things they need to change and vice versa.

I reflect on this song in such a random way. We are all God's creation but we are constantly evolving. Life's lessons cause us to grow, mature, and change on a regular basis. Sometimes we need to step back from ourselves, and take the time to "CRAM TO UNDERSTAND" those we care about. It's not about convenience, or even what we "feel like" necessarily. Commitment....relationship....love is about unselfishness.

I've been told I love hard. I'd lay down my life for someone I consider my "family". That sometimes leave's me in a vulnerable place, and I often get hurt by those who take advantage of me. But this is me. Sappy, sentimental, loyal, forgiving, straightforward, but gentle. I can't be anyone but myself.

And tonight as I reflect on those I am committed to , I can make this promise, in spite of the hurt I may feel.
Just like a test.......I CRAM TO UNDERSTAND YOU....and this is one test, Im determined to pass.

This is me, Kelli, in real life.

Here's My Hand

My friends are very important to me.
I've got associates, acquaintances, church family, friends and family.
Most of my closest friends are considered a part of my family.

A few years ago , I moved to Michigan and was separated from some of my closest and dearest friends that I was used to seeing on a daily basis. Now I've got close friends here, and close friends miles away. But I love that no distance and no familiarity changes the connection between us.

One of my dearest friends is hurting emotionally. She's a strong individual, and her faith in God is solid. But we're all human, and when disappointments come it's natural for us to hurt.

On Friday before I even knew what was going on in detail with my friend; I began to weep and call our her name in prayer. It was less than an hour later that I understood why I had felt such a burden for her.

Friendship is one of the most precious types of relationships God has gifted us with. While marriage brings about a connection of romance, sexual intimacy, and the building of a family; even a marriage is quite fragile with out the two individuals ( man and a woman) first being FRIENDS. Friendship is the ability to let down your guard and allow a person to take up space in your heart; the ability to laugh together, cry together, hurt one another, forgive one another, believe in each other, and remain committed without any paperwork or ceremony.

Today I just wish I could hold my dear friends hand as a point of contact.

I'd stand right by her side without inhibition. I'd allow the pure and untainted love of God to flow through me, as I held her hand; saying nothing; just there to be there.

Sometimes no words can heal us like the sense of touch can.

Sometimes we can't even find the words to describe the emotions we feel.

But "touch" transcends even words and feelings.

I just wish I was there to hold her hand like little girls do when they're finished playing dolls, or skipping down a path, or just glad to see one another.

I'd hold her hand, and let her know...."Everything is going to be alright. But until it is.....I'm right here."

A Prayer Journal

A dear friend of mine gave me a beautiful gift on Sunday; a journal.

Like me, she loves notebooks and journals of all sizes, shapes and patterns.

But this one was different.

Inside the cover she said she specifically wanted me to use this journal for prayers and the specific things I was believing God to bring to pass in my life. She said it was her hope that soon I would look back and rejoice at all the things God had done for me.

I've had it for 3 days, and already the first 5 pages are filled with hopes, hurts, and praise to God. Sure, I've been praying out loud in the morning, and at night like I try to do every day. But there's something special about seeing these prayers written out. I feel such a cleansing and even anticipation rising within me. I find that I am expecting God to answer these prayers...in his time, in his way.

I've often struggled with this verse of scripture....

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God
Phillipians 4:6 NASB

I get anxious almost every day and its a struggle to overcome worry, doubt, and even fear sometimes.

But already, I can feel that anxiety lifting as I make the time to write down my "requests".

Tell me, how do you pray?