Kelli. in real life

Casting Call

I've got some good friends.

No.

Scratch that. 

I've got some fantastic sisters that God has blessed me with. 

Although by husband is my best friend there are times when I need "girl talk" from someone who is moody, silly, determined, and loves God just like me. 

Thats where my sisters come in. 

At any given time I can call any one of them and vent, ask for advice, or just chit chat. (im a conversationalist so I enjoy ...well, conversation)

But sometimes I am so overwhelmed with emotions and questions that the only one I can call on is GOD. 

Pregnancy hormones. 

Decisions. 

Finances.

the weighty call of God on my life. 

did I mention decisions?

a husband to support and care for. 

children to support and care for. 

did I mention finances?

young ladies to mentor and be an example for. 

family and friends.

It can get a little heavy for a pregnant wife, mommy, intercessor, psalmist, mentor, and friend at times. 

this morning I was awakened around 545 ( as I usually am...for a potty break of course). I couldnt go back to sleep so I got out of the bed and began to pray. The weight of all the things on my mind brought tears to my eyes, and what began in thanksgiving quickly became a plea for Gods intervention. It was then that a familiar scripture came to my mind. 

"CASTING ALL YOUR CARE UPON FOR HIM; FOR HE CARETH FOR YOU " 1 Peter 5:7

Although I know the scripture well I looked up other versions of this verse to really grasp what God was saying to me.  "THROW all your worry on Him (International Standard version) " was the version that really grabbed my attention. Too often I may refrain from praying about my situations repeatedly because I dont want to put "too much" on God. But here He was reminding me that He wants me to come to him with my worries, fear, and anxiety and literally THROW them on Him...knowing that HE CARES FOR ME.

Maybe you're like me. Maybe at times you've got so much on your plate or on your mind that you sometimes feel overwhelmed. 

My friend, this is a CASTING CALL. Calling all those who are heavy laden. Cast, THROW all your cares on HIM. 

At the end of the day the pressure may still be there, your to do list may not be completed, but I guarantee you'll feel a release knowing that there is a God who is more than capable of handling your problems. Why? Simply because HE CARES. 

The GOSPEL

I have a confession to make. 

I was "this close" to giving up on gospel music. 

I've gotten tired of the "feel good" no scripturally based music, entertainment focused music that has come from the gospel music industry in the last few years. Being that Ive been a background vocalist for 3 major gospel artists, it broke my heart to be disheartened by much of the music I heard from various artists. 

Nothing wrong with expressing one's music ability and versatility.

But the world around us is dying, and we as believers are called to preach, sing, and witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Its more than a melody.

More than a catchy phrase. 

Its the TRUTH that can transform lives. 

This morning, my faith was restored. 

 I met Donald Lawrence when I was a teenager. I was singing with a group led by a singer named, "Keith Dobbins". I was amazed at the raw talent of Donald's singers. I knew all the songs, had the albums, and even thought Donald was cute. ( lol) In other words I've always enjoyed his music for various reasons. But this morning, the music God gave Him RENEWED me in such a way that only music full of Gods word and anointing can. Songs like, "The Blessing is On You", "The Word of the Lord", and "There is a King in You"...filled to the brim with the LIVING word of God. How powerful when we decree the word of the Lord OUT LOUD. Gospel may not be your genre of choice, but do yourself a favor and look into this project. 

Just read a few words from the song the Blessing is on You

"The Lord has made a covenant with you

He has promised that He would bless you

You are in the earth but you live above the curse

You are kingdom you have rights

Blessings come with no struggle or fight

So when recession comes you won't be effected

When sickness comes you'll have good health

The dollar may fail, your wealth will increase

War all around, you'll be at peace"

Dear believer,

Dear friend who knows there is a God but needs to hear His voice.....

Get this cd and be encouraged.....

I dare you to believe

The blessing is on YOU

Heart. Beat.

 As I laid on the bed waiting for the doctor: I prayed. 

"Lord, speak to me."

I was afraid.

I was hopeful. 

I was anxious. 

I was ready.

A melody created by one of my favorite musicians, Hans Zimmer, was playing on my Ipod. The tones and rhythms soothed me, and in the midst of the instrumentation, I heard a heart beat. 

A heart beat not my own. 

By the time my doctor began to do the ultrasound, I was confident that my baby was a live, with a strong heart beat. 

There my baby was; small and protected, with a heartbeat.

I cried tears of joy and thanksgiving. 

It was the most beautiful sound. 

The first note on an empty page.

After months of composition and creation, this one note will evolve into a beautiful song.

There is life inside of me, and I rejoice in "her" melody. : )

I Get By With a Little Help From my SISTERS

Meet my sisters.

Up top is "Babe Cooper" and here below is "Babe Knight".

They're not my buddies. 

They're not my friends.

They're not my pals.

They're my sisters. 

Babe Cooper and I have been sisters for 6 years or so. We met when I started singing background for Dorinda Clark Cole, and immediately became close. On the day of my wedding, she was the last person I saw before I walked down the aisle with my father. She cried with me, rejoiced with me, and today is blessed with a wonderful husband and daughter. 

Babe Knight and I have been sisters for less than 2 years, but it feels like forever. Ours was an ironic meeting at a live recording on which we both sang. We didn't keep in touch like we promised, but a year later connected again, and have been stuck like glue ever since. Ours is a spiritual connection; divinely orchestrated.

As fate, or God would have it; Babe Knight and Babe Cooper hit it off right away, and now all of us are inseparable. 

Today I went to Babe Cooper's house to get my hair done. We were on a three way speaker phone call with Babe Knight (who lives in Cali) and I began to be transparent and tell my sisters that I was afraid. I told them how I couldn't stop thinking about the miscarriage in March, and how it was taking everything within me to believe that the baby I'm carrying inside of me now is alive and well. 

Babe Cooper immediately said, "Babe...I believe everything's ok. At church on Sunday I was praising God and thanking Him in advance for this healthy baby you're going to have. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE GOD"

Babe Knight chimed in and said, "You have to speak the word to your mind and tell your mind to tell your body to line up with the Word of God. Don't allow what may be a reality that yes you lost a baby, to dictate to you that you're going to lose this one. We're going to believe that this baby is alive and well and you're going to have a healthy pregnancy."

Then because Babe Knight was at a church function she went into many salutations and blessings with people around her. Babe Cooper and I had a field day teasing her about her "meet and greet". 

A normal conversation. A normal banter of mockery back and forth. A normal exchange of sisterly love and laughter. 

But yet, I drove home with tears pouring down my face. 

I am SO BLESSED to have TRUE sisters, who although not my blood have been joined to me through the covenant of Christ. They wouldn't let me fall today. They didn't pat my back and baby my emotions.

 They spoke the WORD and helped me to stand on it. 

Once home, I grabbed a book I read regularly called "Supernatural Childbirth". I began to read and recite the scriptures listed inside and I came to this ...FEAR is F(alse) E(vidence) A(bout) R(eality).

Everything my sisters had spoken to me today was confirmed. 

I will spend the rest of the day reciting and meditating on Gods promises and thanking Him for sisters who care enough to remind me of those promises. 

Have No Fear

When I was little I was fascinated with superheroes. 

Superman, Superwoman, Batman, Suzzette Smurf. 

I loved them because they seemed invincible. They had amazing powers to do almost anything they wanted. Plus, they had the best lines was, "Have No Fear"....and then they'd either rescue someone, fight an enemy, or fly or twirl around really fast. 

(All except for Suzzette Smurf. I just thought she was brave for living around all those boys)

Have no fear, huh?  That's been a tough concept for me to grasp, even though I'm in relationship with the greatest of superheroes; Jesus Christ. 

I've talked before about struggling with fear, anxiety, worry, and doubt; almost on a daily basis. I have to literally quote meditate on scriptures and feed myself the word of God and encouraging words to fight off anxiety. 

Just before Christmas I found out that I'm pregnant again with what would have been our 3rd child. I've written many times about losing Christian back in March, and what a difficult loss it was to recover from. When I saw the plus sign on the "pee pee" stick (as I like to call it) I was filled with mixed emotions; I was thrilled speechless until all that would come out of my mouth was a screaming like sound that sounded more like a whale in heat. 

I was also AFRAID. 

Fear gripped me. 

I was afraid of my husband's response. 

I was afraid of the financial strain if I end up having to quit my job. 

I was afraid of losing the baby. 

And I realized that fear was the reason I didn't tell people. I was afraid people would say, "you should probably wait to say anything...just in case you miscarry."

I was afraid people would feel pitiful for me, and instead of BELIEVING God with me, they'd just "hope for the best". 

I've been wrecking my brain every day, making sure I still feel certain symptoms. The moment I don't; I become afraid and bombard myself with "what ifs". 

Fear is torment. 

I can't live like that.

"FOR GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US THE SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER, AND LOVE, AND OF A SOUND MIND" -II Timothy 1:7 

"FEAR NOT, FOR I AM WITH THEE, AND I WILL BLESS THEE" -Genesis 26: 24

I've been eating these scriptures like candy. 

I have concluded, that whatever happens, my God is with me. He won't leave me. He knows my hearts desire, and He is able to do more than I can ask or think. 

So this baby, this pregnancy, this anxious woman....is in HIS HANDS. 

Time Out

Today I'm taking a "time out" from the every day ups and downs and ins and outs. For the next hour I've decided my greatest struggle doesn't exist. I'm not anxious, worrying, doubtful, fearful, or beating myself up. For the next hour I am FREE!!!!!

 This all started this morning when I woke up and was greeted by my issues and worries, shortcomings and bills, strengths and weaknesses, all at once. Just as I began to cry the Holy Spirit nudged me and I felt him whisper this to me. "Just try me...........take a break from trying to fix everything.....just try me. "  Capitol idea, I thought. But seeing that worry and anxiety have become a part of my actual being over the last few years, I knew it would be kind of hard to just "snap out of it." So I set a reasonable goal. For the next hour....I AM FREE. 

To some this may be silly. Worry and anxiety may not be your worst enemies. Maybe it's easy for you to accept God grace and mercy daily. But condemnation is a constant foe of mine. When I feel I've let God down, or even if bills overwhelm me, or things don't work out like I expected, it effects every part of my life. I lose inspiration. I become afraid and defensive. I stop praying. I began to feel helpless. 

But I love how God's word is alive and can speak loudly to our situations. 

"He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;" Psalm 103 :10-11

I once heard someone say faith is like a muscle...its got to be exercised. Life has thrown a many curve balls my direction the last 2 years and my faith has taken a beating. But today I'm putting on my workout clothes and Im exercising my faith. Who knows this hour of relief may lead to a new way of life....TRUE FREEDOM!!!!