Kelli. in real life

50 to 100

Thats how many times I kiss my little boy per day. Sometimes more . Im sure of it. He's a strong willed little wise guy so I've got to discipline him a lot too. But he brings me so much joy. He makes me smile. Isn't he beautiful?

Dear Christian

Dear Christian,

I'm writing you this letter with tears flowing from my eyes, but so much joy in my heart. 

Today I heard your baby brother or sister's heart beat for the 3rd time. Today was extra special because this time last year I was already in the process of miscarrying you and didnt know it. My heart aches when I think of how you must have been struggling to grow, to breathe, and to live. But God gives me peace that the prayers I prayed over you daily while you were in my womb did not go to waste. For you are no longer in pain nor do you feel any fear. You are in Gods precious care and at peace. 

I still think of you almost every day. Although I sometimes cry, God has given me peace in knowing that I'll see you again one day. Instead of holding your tiny, lifeless body that fit in my hand; you'll be big enough to hold in my arms. 

I want you to know that this baby will never take your place, but I am so excited to see pieces of you in this baby. After you passed away, God gave me a dream in which I saw your face; your large almond shaped cocoa brown eyes were bright, your eyelashes as long and enchanting, your head full of curly locks like Papa's, and your smile wide and bright like Daddy's. I even got to hear your sweet voice say,"Mommy." I'm so grateful to have seen that vision and to have seen your face, and most of all to have heard your voice. 

Christian, when you talk with Jesus today, tell him thank you for Mommy. Tell him thank you for this new baby that is growing healthy and strong inside of me. Tell him thank you for the sound of its heart beating and the feeling of its movement inside me. Tell him thank you for carrying Daddy and I through the darkest days of our lives and once again giving us hope and restoring our faith. Christian, tell him thank you. I wouldve never given you up on my own; but in His sovereign ways He took you, and finally; I'm okay with that. Christian, if I had never lost you I would never know Jesus the way I do now. I would never know that His love truly is unfailing, unchanging, and can reach into the deepest, darkest places, and pull us out. It is through this loss that I've been reminded of what is important. And now with a new life growing inside of me, I am once again forever changed. 

My dear sweet boy, I will always love you. 

Until we meet again, 

Mommy

Are We There Yet?

Growing up my parents drove to almost every vacation destination we had. Williamsburg 8 hours, Ocean City, 9 hours, Myrtle Beach 14 hours. I would lay out my blanket, pillow, books and journals perfectly in the back seat. I kept myself occupied most of the trip, but usually about half way through I'd begin to ask the ever famous question, "Are We There Yet?" This question usually triggered an irritable response from my mother especially, so I'd warm up with, "How much longer?"

During the last few weeks in my morning devotion the Holy Spirit has "politely" reminded me that I have reverted to some childish ways. I've allowed the opinions of others and the imaginary "time table" life's pressures can create for us to make me feel as if I'm behind schedule or wasting time. Alot of the people in the industries I'm involved in are single or male and are able to pick up and go or network at leisure. But I made the choice to get married and have a family, which was the RIGHT choice for me. Instead of celebrating this season, I've been so eager about "what's next", "how much longer"..."are we there yet?".

Through scripture the Lord reminded me of the stability of his plans. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29 :11 (NIV)

He knows my future, but He understands the process. He's mapped out a path for my life and its up to me to trust Him to guide me, without looking to the left or right to see if I'm "measuring up" with others expectations. 

Mark Batterson  summed it up well for me this morning....

He is far more concerned aboutwho you're becoming in the process than when you arrive at your destination. Maybe you need to quit praying for deliverance andstart praying for revelation. 

I love it. 

God is more worried about me not only growing, but comprehending, understanding, and becoming more like me in my character, than he is the actual destination. Its His will that I'm MATURE enough to handle my destiny, rather than accepting a place or way of life I am in truth too immature for. 

Be encouraged today. The process may be long, but it will reap the fruit of the Spirit of God, and HIS fruit always endures, and HIS timing is always right. 

From Start to............

Finish....

When it comes to completing tasks and goals I am the worst. 

My head is constantly filled with lots of innovative ideas. I usually jot them down and brainstorm for awhile. 

Then that's where they stay. 

On a notebook page, neatly written, rarely re visited, and even less frequently acted on. 

Last night I heard Tyler Perry accepting an award and he said that one of his greatest challenges was that he could NOT finish anything he started. I was a tad bit inspired because now this man has written plays, movies, and has started his own entertainment company worth millions of dollars. 

I started thinking of all the things I've "started" just in the last year. There may be a million dollar idea on one of those pages in my many notebooks, but I'll never know until I put it into action and FINISH. 

Tell me, whats your greatest personal challenge that sometimes hinders you from moving forward?

The GOSPEL

I have a confession to make. 

I was "this close" to giving up on gospel music. 

I've gotten tired of the "feel good" no scripturally based music, entertainment focused music that has come from the gospel music industry in the last few years. Being that Ive been a background vocalist for 3 major gospel artists, it broke my heart to be disheartened by much of the music I heard from various artists. 

Nothing wrong with expressing one's music ability and versatility.

But the world around us is dying, and we as believers are called to preach, sing, and witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Its more than a melody.

More than a catchy phrase. 

Its the TRUTH that can transform lives. 

This morning, my faith was restored. 

 I met Donald Lawrence when I was a teenager. I was singing with a group led by a singer named, "Keith Dobbins". I was amazed at the raw talent of Donald's singers. I knew all the songs, had the albums, and even thought Donald was cute. ( lol) In other words I've always enjoyed his music for various reasons. But this morning, the music God gave Him RENEWED me in such a way that only music full of Gods word and anointing can. Songs like, "The Blessing is On You", "The Word of the Lord", and "There is a King in You"...filled to the brim with the LIVING word of God. How powerful when we decree the word of the Lord OUT LOUD. Gospel may not be your genre of choice, but do yourself a favor and look into this project. 

Just read a few words from the song the Blessing is on You

"The Lord has made a covenant with you

He has promised that He would bless you

You are in the earth but you live above the curse

You are kingdom you have rights

Blessings come with no struggle or fight

So when recession comes you won't be effected

When sickness comes you'll have good health

The dollar may fail, your wealth will increase

War all around, you'll be at peace"

Dear believer,

Dear friend who knows there is a God but needs to hear His voice.....

Get this cd and be encouraged.....

I dare you to believe

The blessing is on YOU