Kelli. in real life

Good Man, Great God (Part 2)

I've often shared with those close to me that sometimes being talented or gifted seems more of a burden than a blessing. 

I'm sure my husband would say I sometimes make him feel that way. 

Because he's so talented in so many different areas, I have a hard time accepting that right now there are no opportunities for him to use them all and be compensated for them. He works for a retail computer store and LOVES his job. But it often leaves us financially short, scrounging for personal time, and missing out on church events. As a wife who knows his longing desire to be active in ministry but also able to use all his talents and provide for his family, I'm often frustrated at our present circumstances. If this was all there could be that would be one thing. But inside I know God has so much more for us. 

I often feel like his customers get the most personalized attention from him. They get to enjoy his beautiful smile. His pleasant tone of voice. His endearing personality that makes others feel important. 

His co workers get to spend the day with him; listening to his silly jokes, drawing from his wisdom and knowledge, and occasionally eating lunch with him. 

By the time he gets home to us, he lavishes on our little boy; reading him stories, wrestling with him, and teaching him scriptures. After that, he pretty much wants to veg out and get ready for the next day, and if Im lucky I get a half hour or so of quality time. 

These last 2 weeks my husband was working on a music project. My heart was overjoyed knowing he was actively using another one of his gifts and enjoying it all the while. But I longed to have time with him. It became just another reason for him to be busy; helping someone else and leaving the left overs for me. 

I complained in my journal. ALOT. 

Then the Holy Spirit sort of tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Pray for him".

I won't lie. I'd been so consumed by the circumstances that my prayers had been filled with asking for provision, direction, and favor, but not once had I specifically prayed for my husband; his feelings, his destiny, his relationship with God. 

I've been reminded that my prayers for him cannot be contingent on whether or not I feel appreciated, covered, or even loved. My prayers for him must be contingent on the fact that God's word promises that if I ask in faith believing, in HIS name, it shall be given unto me. How silly to have a promise for an answer, but never take the time to ask. 

So today I started all over again. Praying for my husband. 

If I don't, who will?

 

Good Man, Great God

I imagine this is a topic I may be referring to numerous times over the next few weeks as I allow God to deal with me personally in this area. 

I grew up around good men. 

My father was (and still is) a christian man. He taught sunday school and served on the deacon board alongside my grandfather. He worked a full time job as well as 2 occasional part time jobs to provide for our family. I never heard him curse. I never saw him raise a hand to my mother. I even heard other less fortunate kids say, "I wish he was my dad".

Both of my grandfathers were good men. One of my grandfathers was a deacon, a sunday school teacher, and a student of the Word of God and prayer. My other grandfather was a school teacher for many years, and both were well liked and respected in the community. 

I had great examples of good men in my life. 

When dating, I had some good and bad experiences with young men. (I'll get a little deeper into that in the near future). But for the most part, I dated handsome, motivated, Christian men.

My husband is very much like my father. Very handsome. Laid back. Peaceful. Gentle but strong. Well liked. My husband also has a BUNDLE (literally) of talents and gifts that God has given him. He's a musician (3 instruments), trained in all genres of music. He's a producer. He's experienced in sound engineering, artist management, graphic design, and MAC computers. He's a maestro.

But I'm sometimes extremely hard on him because of all of these talents. When i look into his eyes I see limitless potential, and I often feel that he's not using his abilities to their maximum potential. Even when it comes to the way he treats me and responds to me; I harp on him about that too. When we were dating he gave me cards, flowers, held my hand first, brushed my cheek, and said all the right things. Because of the difficult relationship I was in prior to dating my husband, trusting him was very imperative. It was his honesty and open expression of his love for me that helped me to let down my guard and allow myself to fall in love with him. 

We all know that life's circumstances can sometimes come at us fast and throw us off track at times. We've had a rough year when it comes to unexpected trials, and I've unfairly blamed him for a lot of them. 

Last night I was shopping in Target (as I do once or twice a week), and the Holy Spirit began to deal with me about my husband. 

*He is not my source of joy, income, or purpose. GOD IS

*He deserves the same patience, understanding, and forgiveness that I expect him to give me. 

*If you give him to me and stop trying to play God, I'll make him into the man of God he's pre-destined to be. 

*He's human and will never be able to keep all his promises. But I am God and what Ive promised you, it WILL COME TO PASS.

I stood in the magazine aisle at Target and tears began to stream down my face. For years I have operated in "defense" mode. I've been used, misunderstood, and abandoned, and I imagine I felt the need to protect myself. In marriage, I've made the assumption that my husband would be my all mighty defender, when in fact he is the SON of a king, and not the KING himself. I have unknowingly laid all this responsibility on my husband that in honesty DOES NOT BELONG TO HIM. 

Yes he's my husband; my covering, the priest of my home. But GOD is his source. And when I try to play HOLY SPIRIT and take it upon myself to constantly convict and reprimand, I AM OUT OF LINE, and standing in the way of my husband receiving true direction from his SOURCE. 

No argument or disagreement brought this on. It was simply the convicting but upbuilding love of God that reminded me...

YES....I have given you a GOOD MAN, but never forget I AM A GREAT GOD!!!!!

(to be continued)

a church girls review of CHURCHED by Matthew Paul Turner

I am a church girl.
Born and raised.
I know lots of hymns, clergy protocol, and rules and regulations about skirt length and make up colors.

With that being said, I was quite eager to read CHURCHED by MATTHEW PAUL TURNER

I am by no means a prolific writer, but I love to read and know a good book within reading the first 5 pages. THIS my friends is a masterpiece. Written with the perfect mixture of humor, religious myths, man made rules, and the mystery of adolescence, Turner delivers a fast reading memoir that will intrigue a reader from the first paragraph. His story includes many analogies and tales that will leave a reader breathless from laughter and perhaps even reminiscent of their own childhood stories involving church.

Its subtitle tells the story in a nutshell. one kid's journey to find God despite a holy mess
It may seem sac religious to call a mess holy, but knowing first hand what its like to have a clouded view of who God really is amongst a rule book of do's and dont's, I'd say the title is quite befitting. Turner uses stories of his childhood to bring to light many misconceptions that children as well adults sometimes have based on church rules. Fortunately for him, he seems to have found a "church" to belong to and a GOD who loves him even when he's not wearing a tie.

You Want FAME?

"YOU WANT FAME? WELL FAME COSTS. AND RIGHT HERE IS WHERE YOU START PAYING WITH SWEAT". ` Debbie Allen ~ TV show Fame

For the last 6 years of my life, I've been connected with a few people of "celebrity status". Being a background vocalist has afforded me the opportunity to meet legendary artists, songwriters, producers, and even record executives. I'm not much for networking and have never been an opportunist so in most situations I choose to opt for the occasional business related email or meeting and not much else.

But a few of the VIP's I've met in the last few years have become very dear to me. Some are friends, some are mentors, and a couple are like family to me.

Often I forget that they're "famous". I respect their varied positions and giftings, but because I love them for their personality and other things; i lose sight of their status in the public eye.

Last week I ran into one of them in Target. It was a normal Wednesday night after service, and I was grabbing a few items before returning home when I heard this distinctive voice. I knew the voice immediately and waited; leaning on my cart in the middle of the aisle until my "little sister" walked around the corner. She didn't see me at first, so I said something she could relate to. "What do you mean you're just gonna walk right past me?" She smiled with her infectious grin and said, "KELSSSSS!" We embraced and talked as usual, and not once did I stop to think, "Wow, she's a celebrity." or "Someone might recognize her."

We went out separate ways and I headed to the check out counter. I placed my things on the belt and noticed that the cashier wasn't paying much attention to me and was in fact looking in a distant direction. She could barely contain her excitement. She motioned for me to come closer to the register and said, "Was that ******* ****** you were talking to?" I paused. "Yes, it was," I responded hesitantly. "Oh my gosh I love her," she said. "I've got all her cds and my nieces love her and look up to her." My items for purchase still sat untouched on the conveyor belt. Inside, I knew what was coming next. "Do you think you can get me her autograph?"

Awkward.

That moment when you go from a regular person to a regular person that knows somebody important. In your mind you relate to the excitement of the individual whose in total shock to be in the same vicinity as a superstar. But this immediate desire to protect the privacy of the person you care about and often forget is in fact a superstar immediately rises within you.

"You know; I'm sure since there's not a lot of people in here, she won't mind if you ask her for an autograph when she's on her way out."

The cashier smiled and FINALLY began to ring up my items. When she gave me my receipt she laid an extra sheet of paper down. I was confused. As if reading my mind she said, "You know ***** ***** so you must be famous too. can I have your autograph?"

I've thought a lot about that night since then. The whole fan/celebrity dynamic is strange but fascinating to me. Here are these normal people with extraordinary gifts, talents or looks, and we create this image of them. We put them in this box that says that they are what they do. We rarely think about their feelings, their dislikes and likes, or their problems. We just like what they do. Their talent is a gift and a burden; a bonus and a handicap simultaneously. But we don't think about that when we snap their pictures from afar; interrupt them while they're eating with their family, or talk about them negatively when they don't live up to the image we've created for them.

Often people have said to me, "You're too talented to be in the background; you need to be upfront."

I beg to differ.

FAME comes with a huge price....your very LIFE, and I don't think that's a price I'm willing to pay.

Is it a SIN?

Is it a sin that.....

I've never seen the Passion of the Christ?

I really like the square shaped shortbread cookies we use for communion, and would love to snack on them on a regular basis?

I can't stand to hear tone-deaf little kids sing even if they are singing about Jesus?

60 % of my itunes library is secular music?

I wish Thomas the Train would mysteriously disappear off the face of this earth? ( totally random)

When I feel led to fast, I always opt for the "no idle conversation" or "No tv" fast, because I love food? ( I think I already know the answer to that one)

When I went to Vegas I spent $5 on the Wheel of Fortune game and said a prayer before hand that God would let me win?

I seriously don't know if I could say yes if God called me to missions in Africa?

Whaddya think?

GIRL TALK

Picture this.

Me.

Julia Roberts.

Sara Groves.

Beyonce'.

Kate Winslet.

Kiera Knightley.

a round table.

a mountain of pasta in the middle of the table.

shirley temples w/umbrellas.

no kids.

no husbands.

no paparazzi.

Just good food.

good conversation.

and loud laughing.

That would be my idea of a perfect girls night out.

So what about you ladies? What celebrities would you love to just hang out with just because they seem like "your kinda friends?"