Good Man, Great God (Part 2)

I've often shared with those close to me that sometimes being talented or gifted seems more of a burden than a blessing. 

I'm sure my husband would say I sometimes make him feel that way. 

Because he's so talented in so many different areas, I have a hard time accepting that right now there are no opportunities for him to use them all and be compensated for them. He works for a retail computer store and LOVES his job. But it often leaves us financially short, scrounging for personal time, and missing out on church events. As a wife who knows his longing desire to be active in ministry but also able to use all his talents and provide for his family, I'm often frustrated at our present circumstances. If this was all there could be that would be one thing. But inside I know God has so much more for us. 

I often feel like his customers get the most personalized attention from him. They get to enjoy his beautiful smile. His pleasant tone of voice. His endearing personality that makes others feel important. 

His co workers get to spend the day with him; listening to his silly jokes, drawing from his wisdom and knowledge, and occasionally eating lunch with him. 

By the time he gets home to us, he lavishes on our little boy; reading him stories, wrestling with him, and teaching him scriptures. After that, he pretty much wants to veg out and get ready for the next day, and if Im lucky I get a half hour or so of quality time. 

These last 2 weeks my husband was working on a music project. My heart was overjoyed knowing he was actively using another one of his gifts and enjoying it all the while. But I longed to have time with him. It became just another reason for him to be busy; helping someone else and leaving the left overs for me. 

I complained in my journal. ALOT. 

Then the Holy Spirit sort of tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Pray for him".

I won't lie. I'd been so consumed by the circumstances that my prayers had been filled with asking for provision, direction, and favor, but not once had I specifically prayed for my husband; his feelings, his destiny, his relationship with God. 

I've been reminded that my prayers for him cannot be contingent on whether or not I feel appreciated, covered, or even loved. My prayers for him must be contingent on the fact that God's word promises that if I ask in faith believing, in HIS name, it shall be given unto me. How silly to have a promise for an answer, but never take the time to ask. 

So today I started all over again. Praying for my husband. 

If I don't, who will?

 

Comments

[Rachel]

wow. It's like I'm reading my own life and feelings when I read your writings. We are in this exact stage right now. it's really hard. Watching my husband go to a job that doesn't utilize his giftings and talents, just for a paycheck that isn't quite sufficient. Really hard! Then he's so spent out, we have little to no family time and I sometimes feel myself becoming resentful. Not at him, but at his work. He's in school full time as well, so I'm praying that one day this season will all be worth it and will pay off for him and us.

[Kelli]

Rachel,
Its good to know someone can relate. I will be praying for you and your family