Yesterday, I Cried

Yesterday, I cried.

My L.A. sister was in town this past week for a church convention, and the last 3 days my other sister and I had the chance to spend some girl time with her. Yesterday, my new niece turned a month old, and we went to see her get her first portraits taken. While we looked through the proofs we took turns holding her, and delighting in the outcome of her pictures. We walked aimlessly through the store while waiting for her pictures to print; laughing at inside jokes, looking at baby clothes and toys, and even posing for a picture or two.

For some odd reason as we were looking at girl's clothes my L.A. sister said something about my future child(ren). Immediately, my stomach began to cramp, sweat started pouring down my face, my skin was hot, and I felt light headed and dizzy. I sat in a rocking chair for a few moments to try and collect myself, but the pain would not subside. "I'm just hungry. Go on and check out, and I'll meet you there in a few minutes, " I said to my sisters. As soon as they were out of sight, I rushed to restroom.

I cried because I lost him.

I cried because I wasn't pregnant.

I cried because he hadn't met his aunties who had screamed with ecstatic joy when I took the test and it came out positive.

I cried, and it hurt.

Somehow, I collected myself after a few minutes, and returned to my sisters.

I held my niece close to me and nuzzled her cheek.

I cried because I lost him.

But I smiled, because she's here.

Comments

[JudiFree]

I cried yesterday too...at the lunch table when a close friend showed me her ultrasound of her healthy 3 month baby. she also had a miscarriage the same time i did in February.