I'm 30 years old.
I don't mind saying it because I'm proud to be 30.
God has brought some dreams of mine to pass in these 30 years, and in spite of the things I've gone through and lost, I'd say I've had a good life so far.
But in a few months, I'll be 31.
I don't want to be the same person I was at 30.
I want to be better.
smarter.
nicer.
closer to fulfilling my purpose.
In my lifetime, I've always had someone to sort of "root me on".
My 2nd grade choir director (Mr Shepherd) cried when I sang. "I can't believe your in 2nd grade, and you know how to control your vibrato." I had absolutely no idea what vibrato was, or how I "magically" controlled it. But his encouragement caused me to look deeper into music theory.
In 8th grade my choral director (Mrs. Jingle) gave me a good talking to before I went to high school. She told me I was one of the most talented kids she'd ever taught. But high school was going to be a lot harder work than junior high. She told me to take care of my voice, and study hard, and maybe I'd get a vocal scholarship to college.
My freshman year my choral director (Mrs. Garrett) told me I had amazing talent. But I lacked discipline and determination. For all four years of high school she was terribly hard on me. But I learned how to control my vocal abilities, and how to discipline my voice to do what I wanted it to do when singing.
While in college, I started a worship group called Latter Rain. It was through our singing engagements that I met "Mama K", and ended up traveling with her as an armorbearer. I got a first hand look at what it meant to be a woman in ministry. Other women like Evangelist LaNita Jackson, First Lady Moore, and Dr. Bevery Jackson, passed on tidbits of knowledge and wisdom, grooming me for the ministry I would one day walk in myself. There were hardships, misunderstandings, and hurts I endured. But I love these women dearly,a nd treasure all that they taught me through word and deed.
Since I've been here in Michigan I've entered the gospel music industry, and Ive traveled the world as a background vocalist with artists who have sold out to the cause of Christ. Deitrick taught me the business, Dorinda taught me the ministry, and vanessa has taught me the "protocol" of the music industry.
It's been about 3 years since I've been without a mentor in my life. It's been a hard 3 years; learning and deciphering things for myself. After my miscarriage in March I yearned desperately for a woman to teach me how to go through the grief and eventually overcome it. As I search deep within myself and strive to get rid of those things that hinder me from being the wife, mother, and woman God called me to be; I long for a mentor to walk me through the process.
I'm thankful that until God places that mentor in my life, he has given me women in the faith like judifree, jennicatron, brandiandboys, and smiling sally; who have blogs I can venture to and leave encouraged, convicted, and challenged.
When I grow up, I want to be a woman who has felt the sting of an open wound, but has allowed a God who is all powerful to close those wounds and heal them.
When I grow up, I want to be a woman who is not afraid to get real with teenage girls who are confronted with sex, drugs, gossip, bulimia, and other things.
When I grow up, I want to be a wife who "fights' for her husband and marriage in spite of her own feelings. I want to be the one to hold up my husbands arms in the heat of battle, and intercede until victory is one.
When I grow up, I want to be a mother who speaks life into her children; teaches them the Word daily, and lives a life of commitment to Christ in front of them and behind closed doors.
When I grow up, I want to lead thousands in a song of worship, and watch as the lame walk, the dumb talk, and miracles happen for Gods glory.
When I grow up,
I want to walk fearlessly in the mandate God has placed in my life.
Without fear, without doubt, without hesitation.
I know the time will come again that God will place a mentor in my life. The process I may learn under their guidance may not be an easy one, but it will take me where I need to go.
I'm ready for the process.
"But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their sense exercised to discern both good and evil"
Heb 5:12-14
This is me, in real life. KELLI
do you have some place where we can hear your music? that natural control of vibrato? :)
Posted by: mandy | July 24, 2008 at 01:20 PM
: ) Hi there Mandy.
I took down my myspace page a few months ago,( I wrote all about it in a blog entitled WHy Kelli in Real Life) so you may be able to find one of the albums on which I sang on Itunes. The cd is called Deitrick Haddon presents Voices of Unity ALL STAR EDITION. I sang lead on tracks 2, 4, 7, and 11. If you don't have any luck finding it, let me know. I'll email you an mp3 : )
By the way, you have a beautiful voice
Posted by: Kelli | July 24, 2008 at 04:04 PM
Kelli, I wish I had had your vision and wisdom at 30. It took me many more year to learn those lessons.
(I also found the cd on CBD.com. It's lovely. That one is one of DH's cds that I don't have. Thanks for the tip.)
Posted by: daisy | July 27, 2008 at 02:04 AM